


Awakening

by SilviMasters



Category: Teen Titans, Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Funny, Love Triangles, Mild Sexual Content, POV Multiple, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-28
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-27 07:44:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 35,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2684840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilviMasters/pseuds/SilviMasters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p class="note">With the threat of Trigon removed, Raven's emotions are set free, unknowingly awakening the demon blood within her. Unsure of herself and afraid of these new feelings she turns to to the only one that's ever brought her comfort...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Awakening**

Chapter One: The Open Cage

 

_It wasn't supposed to be this way. It wasn't fair. Trigon was gone, I was supposed to feel liberated. The walls I'd built up around my emotions were no longer necessary. The cage I'd put myself into now hung wide open. I no longer had to fear bringing ruin to the world and yet... I'd spent my entire life in that prison; it was comforting in some sad, demented way. The twisted irony of the situation was not lost on me. I'd been set free only to feel more like a prisoner than I ever had before._

 

_The emotions I'd kept locked away now consumed me. Every sight, every smell, every sound now seemed to have a different meaning. My powers, so driven by these new sensations, now warred with me. The comfort and stability I had become accustomed to was now a thing of the past. I was already slipping and it had barely been a week. So little time had passed and I already felt so pitiful and helpless. The mighty sorceress brought low by the most simple of emotions..._

 

_Worst of all, in my panic to rein in all these new feelings I had forgotten something... something very important... something that nearly ruined everything..._

 

–

_**Fear...** _

–

 

– _Starfire–_

 

 

_“Starfire... I need your help!”_

 

“Raven?” the red haired alien asked. She looked around the room in confusion for her dark haired friend.

 

“You say something, Star?” Beast Boy asked, not bothering to turn away from the TV as he mindlessly flipped through the channels.

 

“Did you not hear friend Raven speaking?” she asked curiously.

 

“I thought she was still locked up in her room.”

 

“That is strange, I was most certain I had...”

 

_“Starfire, please come quickly! I'm in my room, don't bring anybody with you!”_ Raven's voice sounded again, seeming to to come from inside her head. Having become somewhat accustomed to the unusual nature of the dark haired girl, Starfire nodded firmly.

 

“I do not understand, but I will come!” she shouted, leaping from the couch and flying off down the hall. Beast Boy glanced after her for a moment before shaking his head.

 

“Less strange than usual,” he muttered before returning his attention to the TV.

 

Starfire had already begun to worry by the time she arrived at the door to Raven's room, her friend's voice had sounded very afraid. Before she could even knock the door slid open yet Raven wasn't there to great her like usual.

 

“Raven?” she asked nervously, taking a few timid steps into the quiet girl's room. She was instantly hit with an odd smell that she couldn't place... until she looked at the girl's bed and saw the large smear of sticky red liquid. “Blood! Friend Raven where are you?!” she shouted frantically, jumping backwards with a surprised squeak as a bookcase on one of the walls lifted off the ground and moved aside to reveal a hidden door.

 

_“I'm in here... I don't know what to do! Please... please help me!”_ Swallowing hard, Starfire floated towards the door and opened it slowly to see a rather ordinary looking bathroom.

 

“I am here friend Raven,” she called out into the room, her voice echoing lightly off the walls.

 

She could hear the sound of quiet whispering as well as running water coming from behind the shower curtain. Pausing a few moments to charge her hands with Star Bolts, she stepped towards the bathtub. Hearts beating rapidly in her chest, she placed one hand on the curtain, took a deep breath, and pulled it aside. Raven was standing nude under a light trickle of water, hands cupped between her legs, lines of red running down them to swirl around her feet and into the drain.

 

“Why won't it stop?” she whimpered pitifully as blood continued to seep from between her fingers.

 

“Raven, what is wrong?” Starfire asked, unsure if she should look away to keep from embarrassing the girl.

 

“This bleeding won't stop!” the purple haired girl shrieked. Starfire cringed, both at the sudden shouting and at seeing her normally calm friend so frightened and nervous. “I didn't cut myself or anything! It just started coming out and it won't stop, even trying to heal it with my magic did nothing! I'm scared Star... help me!”

 

“Are you not on your normal red days?” Starfire asked uncomfortably.

 

“Normal red days? Nothing about this is normal! I'm bleeding and my stomach won't stop cramping up and my whole body aches!” Raven shouted before grimacing and clutching at her stomach.

 

“You mean you have never had the red time before?”

 

“I think I would remember something like this!”

 

Starfire paused a moment, wondering how best to put the girl at ease. She had noticed many times that her cheerful optimism had caused interesting and sometimes wonderful reactions in the normally broody girl. Settling on the idea, she clapped her hands together and smiled.

 

“This is a glorious day, friend Raven! On my planet this is seen as a right of womanhood, it is a sacred time with much celebrating and eating of the delicious treats! We could do so now if that would make you feel better?” she offered happily. Raven looked up at her skeptically, the barest hint of a smile touching on her lips.

 

“Oddly enough, Star, I don't really feel like celebrating this. But you say this is normal, I'm not sick or anything?” Starfire nodded.

 

“Although I do not produce so much blood, yes, I have experienced the red days many many times. It is uncomfortable at first but they have many wonderful things here on Earth that are most helpful. Wait here and I will bring you some!” Starfire said, bouncing happily in the air a few times before flitting out of the room like a humming bird. Despite the pain she was in Raven let out a short laugh at the alien girl's antics.

 

“Maybe this won't be so bad after all...”

 

–

 

_It was bad. Starfire's in depth lecture on the function and use of the varied feminine products had embarrassed me more than I ever remembered being. This wasn't helped any by the sickeningly sweet way in which the girl relayed the information, not to mention her showering me with constant praise. In her own little way though, the alien girl had pierced straight through my fears and managed to put me at ease in a way I would have found impossible just moments before. There was a comforting glow around her that I had to admit I wanted to experience more of._

 

_It was strange, this was the first time I'd ever truly felt such an emotion. Sure I'd always enjoyed Starfire's company more than the others. Observing her optimistic way of living had been a guilty pleasure of mine back when my emotions were still imprisoned. Now though, it was different. I could not only observe her cheerful nature... I could be influenced by it directly. Maybe I was just being overly grateful for her help in my time of need... but my desire to be close to her was becoming harder and harder to resist._

 

–

 

– _Starfire–_

 

Barely escaping notice, Starfire quickly hid back around the corner from her room. Giggling behind her hand at her own mischievousness, she peeked around the wall to watch Raven fidget awkwardly in front of her door. The gray–skinned Magus would raise her hand as if to knock, pause, then lower it to her side again, appearing deep in thought.

 

“She is most adorable when she does not know I am looking,” Starfire whispered to herself, lifting a few inches off the ground so she could better sneak up on her distracted friend. Struggling all the while against the giggles that wished to consume her, she managed to get close enough to Raven to press her lips right behind the girl's ear. “Hello, friend Raven!”

 

The girl let out an odd, high pitched screech and leaped forward at the door, phasing right through it into the alien girl's room. Laughing harder than she ever remembered, Starfire opened the door and fell into the room, rolling around in mid air and holding her sides until her tumbling brought her face to face with her glaring friend.

 

“That's not funny!” Raven shouted, crossing her arms defiantly.

 

“I must disagree with you, friend Raven!” Starfire managed before giving into the laughter once more. The dark haired girl's blushing cheeks combined with an angry glare only furthering the alien girl's delight.

 

“I was going to ask you something but if you're going to be childish then never mind, I'll just leave,” the embarrassed girl muttered, making her way out the door and into the hallway. She only managing to get a few steps before being struck by a cold shift in the normally radiant aura of the redhead.

 

“I apologize for my behavior of a child, it was not my wish to upset you...” Starfire whispered sadly.

 

Raven felt a twinge somewhere deep in her chest, finding the sadness of the other girl to be unbearable. After taking a deep breath to steady herself, she turned around and smiled.

 

–

_**Shame...** _

–

 

– _Raven–_

 

“It's okay Star, I'm not mad or anything.” The reaction was immediate and heartwarming, the alien girl lifting a few inches off the ground and flying forward to embrace me. Blushing, I returned the hug awkwardly for a few seconds before lightly pushing away. “Hey, Star... I was wondering if you wanted to spend some time together?” I asked shyly. Starfire quirked her head to the side in a way that I found altogether adorable.

 

“But Raven never wishes to spend the girl time with me. I have asked many times to partake in the wonders of the Mall and the movies Beast Boy and Cyborg refer to as the flicks of chicks.” I found myself smiling at the adorably innocent nature of the girl, but was quickly brought down by the memory of my former self.

 

“I know, Star... and I'm sorry about that... about the way I've treated you,” I said, casting my eyes slightly to the side.

 

“But you have always treated me well. I do not understand,” Starfire said, her head tilting a little further. I sighed and tried to compose my erratic thoughts into something understandable.

 

“Because of that whole thing with my father... I had to lock away my emotions and try to distance myself from other people... and even from myself. I've said and done a lot of things to you Starfire, and even though I didn't have a choice I still have regrets about what I did. You've always been so kind to me Star, and... I just...” I sighed again and lowered my eyes, unable to hold her quizzical emerald gaze.

 

“You should not feel like you have done something wrong, Raven. You did not wish to be with me to keep me safe. I am most grateful.”

 

“Thank you Star. It's just...” I turned away from the girl, “I'm scared now. I don't have to hide myself anymore but that's even more terrifying for me than hiding. Every feeling and emotion is so new and frightening... I feel more alone than ever because I've missed out on so much. You're the only one I really feel comfortable around anymore... and even that scares me. It makes me think that maybe if it was with you I'd be able to be...” my words faded into a gasp as her arms slipped around my neck. My stomach felt like I was in free fall as the Tamaranean pressed her body against mine, her skin unusually warm to the touch.

 

“You do not need to be afraid, Raven. I will not let anything harm you,” Starfire whispered. The only reply I could manage was a breathless whimper, the girl's lips brushing against my ear having removed the majority of my cognitive thinking abilities. Eventually, sadly, she pulled away and floated around in front of me to take my hands into hers. “I will be with you for as much time as it takes for you to become comfortable. We will have lots of the girl time, it will be glorious!” she finished, her usual brightness returning.

 

“I... thank you so much Starfire,” I whispered. I found the delightfully warm and smooth feel of her skin to be almost hypnotizing and, without realizing, began to trace circles across the back of her hands with my thumbs. “I don't know what I'd do without you.” I continued, my chest felt constricted and the fluttery feeling in my stomach seemed to be drifting lower and lower. I freed one of my hands and awkwardly put it on her shoulder. “You're the best friend I could ever ask for.”

 

All too quickly the hand was sliding off her shoulder to run along her arm, fingers just barely trailing over smooth, golden, skin. I was beginning to feel a little dizzy, my breathing somewhat labored.

 

“Are you feeling well, Raven?” she asked, reaching out to place a hand on my forehead. A shudder passed through my body at the contact and I swallowed hard over the lump that was forming in my throat.

 

“I'm fine, Star. I just... I'm so...” I stepped a little closer to her and was hit with the scent of strawberries and something else I couldn't place. The desire for more of the wonderful smell was intoxicating and before I knew it I had stepped forward and pressed my face into her neck to breathe it in. An image of what I was doing flashed through my mind so I quickly brought my arms up around her in a makeshift hug in hopes of disguising my actions. “Starfire, what's that smell?” I asked, heart thundering in my chest as nervousness and so many other new and exciting emotions tore through my body.

 

“I believe it is the berries of straw from my hair cleansing liquid. It is a wonderful odor, yes?” she asked.

 

“No, it's not that... it's something else.”

 

I barely recognized the drifting voice to be my own. Being so close I could tell that the wonderful scent wasn't coming from her hair but rather from her skin. I pressed my face in closer and inhaled the hypnotizing scent deep into my lungs. I went weak in the knees as I realized the wonderful aroma was Starfire's natural scent. The images of leaning down and seeing if the girl's orange skin tasted as wonderful as it felt and smelled began to fill my mind.

 

“Raven...”

 

It had barely been a whisper but it was all too easy to pick up on the nervousness and even a slight hint of excitement in her voice. Reluctantly, I pulled away from the graceful curve of her neck to look at her and was surprised to see that she looked much like I felt. Her face was flushed, her lower lip quivering with nervous anticipation, and she held a sort of dreamy expression in her half lidded eyes. My eyes didn't stay on hers for long though, I quickly found them trailing their way back down to her mouth to be absolutely mesmerized by every curve and detail her lips offered.

 

“Starfire...”

 

My new emotions lit up like a raging wildfire as I realized we were drifting closer together, her lips becoming the entirety of my world. I barely registered the feeling of her arms slipping around my neck as mine did the same around her waist. I could feel my heart threatening to beat its way out of my chest as her hot, almost panting, breaths began to tickle my cheeks. I did, however, take notice when her knee drifted up between my legs and brushed against me. The world went white for a brief moment as the feeling that had settled in the pit of my stomach exploded like a burst of her Star Bolts. A rush of warmth and moisture surged between my legs as my whole body was locked in a long series of spasms. I found myself having to clutch at her body for support, crying out as my legs wrapped around one of hers causing a second eruption of the unfamiliar yet undeniably incredible feelings through my body. By the time it all passed, I was being fully supported by the other girl, breathing raggedly and twitching ever so slightly.

 

“Raven... is it done now?” she asked quietly. Her sweet musical voice was like a bucket of cold water being thrown on me. Realizing the position I was in I quickly stepped backwards out of the girl's arms, finding it somewhat difficult to support myself under my own power.

 

“I... I think so,” I gasped out, still breathless from whatever it was I'd just experienced. The shift in Starfire's aura was all too easy for me to pick up on and before long another, slightly more familiar emotion set in... shame. It was the first thing I had fully felt when my emotions had been set free. The shame of the way I had treated the one's who were for all points and purposes my family. The situation this time was completely different and I didn't know what had just happened, but I knew it was something I wasn't proud of. I hung my head slightly. “I... I'm sorry Star. I don't know what that was but I can tell I just did something completely embarrassing. If you still want to go to the Mall later then we'll go,” I murmured quietly. I dared only glance at her blushing face for a fraction of second before wrapping myself in darkness and teleporting to my room.

 

–

 

– _Jinx–_

 

The pink haired girl rolled her eyes at the looks she was getting as she strolled down the street. With her hair done up in its unusual horned style, her pink eyes with cat–like pupils, and her Gothic clothing she knew she had an exotic appearance most people weren't used to seeing. She didn't let it bother her too much, but there was always the temptation to send a little bad luck the way of some of the more outspoken patrons of Jump City.

 

“Speaking of temptation,” she murmured, stopping by the window of a nearby jewelery store.

 

In the display sat an elaborate serpent bracelet cast in silver with an onyx stone set in the eye. She knew full well that it was out of her price range but she couldn't help stopping by on her morning commute to admire it. The all too familiar urge to curse the building with a little ill fortune to make for an easy smash and grab began to build but she simply laughed it away, continuing on her way down the street. Before she could even take three steps...

 

“My purse! That man stole my purse!” a woman screamed. Jinx let out a groan of irritation and turned to see said thug charging towards her down the street, said purse clutched in his hands.

 

“How cliché can you get?” she sighed, raising one finger to send a spark of pink energy at the man's shoes.

 

The laces of his sneakers unfurled and tripped him up, sending him stumbling towards her. With a simple one–handed shove she sent the off balance thief tumbling headlong into a lamp post, knocking him out cold. She bent down and retrieved the purse just as the hysterical woman arrived and offered it to her. The woman nervously looked her up and down and for a moment Jinx thought she might scream for help again.

 

“Thank you so much,” the woman said, her features easing into a warm smile as she took her purse back. “I keep everything in here, I don't know what I would have done if I lost it.” Jinx couldn't help but notice that she was pretty cute and the admiring look on her face was making her want to blush. “Is there anything I can do to repay you?” she asked, fishing around in the purse and pulling out a couple of twenties. “It's the least I can do.” Jinx shook her head and pushed the offered money back at the woman.

 

“How about dinner instead?” she asked with a coy smile.

 

“Oh? Oh!” the woman's eyes widened a bit in surprise and a blush filled her cheeks. “I have a boyfriend...” she murmured, her eyes lowering slightly. Jinx merely shrugged.

 

“It was worth a shot,” she said, turning towards the would be purse snatcher. “He's probably gonna have a nasty headache when he wakes up, it's up to you whether you want to call the cops or not but I think he'll have learned his lesson.” Jinx offered the woman a final smile and turned around to continue off down the street. “Try to be more careful in the future,” she said, waving over her shoulder. As she walked, Jinx felt her eyes drawing hopefully up to the sky but simply shook her head and laughed. “Like she'd show up for some petty crap like this...”

 

–

 

– _Starfire–_

 

Starfire had yet to leave the hallway where Raven had left her. She was floating cross legged with her chin resting in her hands and looked to be deep in thought. She would have stayed like that for a great while too if Cyborg hadn't passed by and interrupted.

 

“Hey, Star, somethin' on your mind?” the mechanical man asked before somehow managing to take a bite out of the impossibly thick sandwich he was eating.

 

“I do not know,” came the girl's airy reply. She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn't even turn to look at him.

 

“Oh? Somethin' happen?” he asked after swallowing, quirking his human eyebrow.

 

“I can not be certain... but I may have just given Raven the sexual pleasure with my knee. Do you think it is possible that...” she had just looked up to see him standing slack jawed as the information processed itself through his brain and circuitry. “Did I give you the too much information again?” she asked, smiling nervously. After a few moments he nodded slightly.

 

“Way... way TMI, Star...”

 

“Perhaps I will ask her later when we are going out,” she murmured as she slowly floated backwards into her room and closed the door. Cyborg stood scratching his head for a moment before shaking it and turning around, deciding it might be better not to know.

 

–

_**Confusion...** _

–

 

– _Raven–_

 

It wasn't until Raven was alone within the confines of her room that she noticed the stickiness between her legs. With a groan she phased out of her leotard and tossed it into a portal to be purified. Fighting down the embarrassment, she stood naked in front of the mirror and inspected the place between her legs, noting that apart from appearing slightly puffy there were no major changes. Nervously, she brushed her fingers across the swollen skin and squeaked at the electric jolt it sent coursing through her body. The mixture of confusion and shame she felt at the new path her life seemed to be taking was quickly turning into anger and impatience.

 

_'Time for some answers_ ,' she thought irritably as she summoned a mass of darkness to lift her bed off the floor. There, inhabiting the space under it lay a large tome, the front half stark white and the back half pure black. Lifting the ancient book from its hiding place she allowed the bed to fall back to the floor and set the book on top of it, light side up. Concentrating her energy into the pages, she focused the maelstrom of her thoughts into a single question. ' _What's happening to me?'_ The dark energies she'd focused into the book flashed purple for an instant before the tome swung open. Swallowing nervously, she bent over and began to read.

 

“Menstruation, an occurrence in young females that signals the readiness to...”

 

She slammed the book shut and groaned, hearing it from Starfire and the research she'd done afterward to clear up any lingering confusion had been more than enough of that subject. She paused then, realizing that if the light half of the book didn't have the answers she sought then it could mean only one thing. Her hands trembled nervously as she flipped the book over to the dark half and closed her eyes. Once more she focused her energies into the book, her nerves making it much harder to focus on the question the tome desired.

 

_'What's happening to me?'_ The book fluttered open and slowly, as if the words were being bled from the pages, the thick red writing appeared. Pausing to take a deep breath, she bent over the page and began to read.

 

“Mating Season, a yearly occurrence among adult demons that arises when one has located a capable and willing female and has succumbed to their baser instincts. Sensations of arousal and desire will be heightened in the presence of capable and willing females until copulation or other method of impregnation has occurred...” She managed to close the book before sagging to her knees, laying her head down on the bed, and starting to cry.

 

–

 

_After an hour or so, I'd worked up the courage to look through the tome that held my people’s knowledge once more to confirm what I'd learned as well as to gather whatever other information I could about the situation. Even with Trigon gone, it seemed my demonic heritage was still an able thorn in my side. With the knowledge had come more shame in the fact that not only had I used Starfire to bring myself sexual release but that I would likely try to do it again. As ashamed as I am to admit it, this had also brought a staggering sense of elation. Starfire was the one whose company I cherished more than any other. Starfire, whose mere presence had been a guilty pleasure of mine for years. Starfire... who I was head over heels in love with._

 

_Once I had the knowledge to go with it, it had only taken a small amount of meditating on the idea to accept it as the truth. Everything about the alien girl brought a familiar warmth to my heart and a not so familiar warmth between my legs. The fact that I felt emotionally attached to the redhead told me she meant more to me than simply a capable body to deposit my 'demonic seed' into. The book had gone into some detail about what type of woman was qualified and thankfully there weren't too many around. If my instincts did drive me to impregnate someone, a process which had the chance of around one in twenty per mating cycle, then I would want it to be someone as loving and nurturing as Starfire. Something told me she would be a wonderful mother..._

 

_With acceptance for these feelings, as seemed to be the habit with everything good in my life, came an overwhelming sense of dread. In the end it didn't matter in the least whether I accepted my feelings and my attraction to the beautiful alien girl... because she would likely never return them. She was so obviously paired up with Robin that it made me ashamed of my desire for her no matter how right it felt. I'd gone from understanding everything to being at a total loss of how to proceed when that realization had struck. Still, something told me I was missing some important detail that would cause everything to fall into place. In the end I was left with little choice but to move forward and hope for the best._

 

–

 

– _Raven–_

 

A sense of foreboding consumed me when I heard the timid knock on my door. There was also a brief glimmer of hope that she had been as clueless as I was about what happened earlier but it was quickly done away with upon opening the door. The shy, almost demure blush on her cheeks and her inability to make eye contact spoke volumes of how embarrassed she was and I quickly followed suit.

 

“Um... I guess we should talk about it,” I said quietly, stepping aside to allow her to come in. She hesitated, looking like she was trying to affirm something in her mind, before stepping into the room. As she passed by I caught a tendril of that wonderful scent of hers and had to bite my lip to fight back the temptation to reach out and touch her. “Look, Star, about earlier. I...” she stopped me with a finger pressed to my lips.

 

“You do not need to give apologies to me, friend Raven, I understand that this is a difficult time for you. I told you that I would not let anything harm you and that includes myself. What happened does not make me wish to spend less time with you, I swear it on the skies of Tamaran!” she said, pleading with her eyes. I smiled as I pulled her hand away and held it in my own, trying with every bit of control I could muster not to think of the warmth or the softness of her skin.

 

“You really are the most wonderful girl I've ever met Starfire, but still, even if you're not upset I think we should still talk about what...” she silenced me with a finger from her other hand.

 

“If you wish we may talk about it, but can we please do so after we partake in the wonders of the Mall? I have been looking forward to going with you for a very long time!”

 

I couldn't have resisted the longing in her eyes even if I'd wanted to. A part of me was crowing with joy on the inside for the simple fact that she wanted to spend time with me.

 

“Sure, Star, let's go.”

 

–

_To be continued..._

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Awakening**

Chapter Two: Temptation's Embrace

 

_There was such a simple pleasure to be found in flying next to the alien girl. Her aura dancing wildly as pure joy ran its course through her system. The smile on her face and the glow of happiness surrounding her was infectious and almost magnetic in its nature. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't help but stare at her beautiful face, turning away whenever she would catch me looking but never staying away for long._

 

_My only regret was of how short a distance it was to the Mall..._

 

–

_**Something more...** _

–

 

– _Starfire–_

 

Starfire clapped her hands together with joy as she floated alongside her dark haired friend. There was always such wonderful happiness to be found in making someone smile but the feeling was magnified many times because it was Raven she was making happy. Ever since their first meeting, she had tried at every possible chance to make the dark haired girl just a little bit happier if she could. She couldn't really explain why because it went so much further than how it did for the others so in the end she simply decided that Raven was special to her for whatever reason and she would do her best to make the girl as happy as possible.

 

 _'I will take care of you my dearest friend Raven. No matter what I will keep you full of the feelings of happiness...'_ she thought to herself with a nod, taking Raven's arm and pressing against her. Starfire noticed not for the first time how cool and comforting the girl's ash gray skin felt against her own. It always made their limited contact even more glorious. Deep down, she hoped the other girl felt the same...

 

–

 

– _Raven–_

 

“S–Star?” I asked nervously, my palms suddenly feeling sweaty as my arm was held snugly to her chest.

 

“What is it, Raven?” she asked innocently, using that adorable head tilt I knew I would never be able to resist.

 

“N–Nothing!” I managed to stutter out, wanting to slap myself for how stupid I sounded. She noticed something over my shoulder and smiled brightly, hovering over to tug at my arm.

 

“Oh! Let us go here, friend Raven, I am sure they will have something that you will finally wish to purchase. It is no fun to go shopping and be the only one doing so!” she said in a scolding tone, shaking the bags she carried for emphasis. Despite how utterly childish it was, I found myself blushing all the same, turning to see she was pulling me towards a Gothic themed clothing store.

 

“Sorry, Star, I've just been kind of nervous, I'm not used to this sort of thing in the first place and it's even harder now...” She paused in her tugging for a moment and looked down at the floor.

 

“I am sorry. I am just so excited to be spending the girl time with you that I forgot your feelings...” she began in that self deprecating tone I hated so much. Not wanting to let her go on I put a hand on her cheek, fighting back a shiver as I raised her chin.

 

“Hey, no more of that, I'm not mad or anything. How about you help me pick something out? Would you do that for me, Starfire?” I asked, instantly being rewarded with her familiar smile and a rush of warmth radiating through her aura.

 

“I would like to very much!” she shouted, resuming her tugging as we made our way through the entrance of the store. A sort of easy joy seemed to wash over me as we wandered from display to display, Starfire snatching up various pieces of clothing and holding them up to my body for consideration only to be placed back. My attention barely drifted to the clothes I was supposed to be shopping for because I was so completely enamored with the alien girl. Every now and then I would even catch that delicious scent of hers to add to the thrill of spending time with her. “Oh, please remain still for a moment, I remember seeing something that would go most perfectly with this!” I merely nodded as she flitted away, sighing as the burning sensation eased in my belly... only to explode through my entire body as fingers trailed across the small of my back and a pair of lips pressed themselves against my ear.

 

–

 

– _Jinx–_

 

The pink haired girl let the pasted on smile fall from her face after the dressing room door closed behind the phony skank of a girl she had just told would look great in a black mesh halter and shredded cargo's. While working at the store provided a lot of insight as to how good honest work could feel, she really hated dealing with the stupidity a lot of the customers provided. All of the 'I want to be this,' and 'I thought it'd be cool to dress like that' was tiring in large quantities. This was only leveled out somewhat by the discount she got on cute clothes. All in all though, she was pretty satisfied with the experience. On very rare occasions it would even provide her with the opportunity of a lifetime...

 

She had been rehanging a couple of shirts people had left lying around when she heard two unmistakably familiar voices. A surge of panic shot through her body causing her to accidentally discharge a few small bursts of her negative energy. She ignored the row of shirts that had torn at the seams and the rack itself which had begun to sag to one side due to a loosened screw and turned to spot the two crime fighters at the entrance of the store. Jealousy washed over her at the sight of the object of her affections being smothered by the attentions of the alien girl. She had been around the two of them enough times to see the mutual attraction between them but there was a new sort of tension there that spoke of a progressing relationship. She felt a deep, cutting pain within her chest at the realization that she might have delayed too long in her efforts to steal away the beautiful sorceress.

 

“No,” she whispered to herself to help steel her resolve. She had given up too much and worked far too hard to just quit at the first sign of trouble. Jinx turned to a nearby mirror to make sure none of her hair had fallen out of place and smoothed out a few folds in her dress. “You're cute, coy, sexy, and you know exactly how a girl wants to be treated. She'll have no choice but to fall for you!” she told herself, giving her reflection a wink before turning towards the two. As she approached she saw Raven put her hand on Starfire's cheek and whisper a few words which caused the alien girl to brighten considerably.

 

The tender moment weakened her resolve enough to give her pause. She wasn't so much of a bitch that she'd tear apart something that made Raven happy just to insert herself into the picture. Her conscience and her heart warred with each other as she watched the two for a moment before Starfire flew away to another part of the store. The deep sigh of longing Raven let out after the other girl had gone spoke volumes about the situation, telling Jinx that it hadn't quite proceeded far enough that she would have to exclude herself from the race for the empath's love. A surge of joy coursed through her body at the prospect of what was to come.

 

_'If Starfire wants her heart...'_ Jinx thought as she purged as much ill fortune from her aura as she could manage.  _'Then she's just going to have to work that much harder for it.'_ With a final deep breath to gather the courage she would need, Jinx walked up behind the girl and pressed her lips to Raven's ear.

 

–

 

– _Raven–_

 

“I always knew you were a lady killer...” a lilting voice whispered. My eyes shot open; this wasn't Starfire. I spun quickly and gathered the darkness into my hands in anticipation of an attack, only to be met with a sweet musical giggle of a pink haired girl with her hair done up in an unusual horned style.

 

“J–Jinx?! What the hell are you doing here?!” I shouted, which only seemed to increase the girl's mirth.

 

Sensing no immediate threat, I lowered my hands and allowed the power to fade. Her giggles eventually ceased and she rose up to face me with a smile, flicking the name tag on her chest.

 

“Community outreach. I was a good girl and turned myself in, remember? I think they figured it would be therapeutic for me to be on the opposite end of the crimes I committed or something,” she said as she absently straightened up a nearby pile of shirts. Finished with that, she leaned back against the table and looked me up and down with a wide grin. “So, how did all this happen?” she asked with a sly smile.

 

“What do you mean?” I asked nervously, unable to meet her gaze. She laughed and pushed off the table, snatching a skirt off a nearby rack and holding it up to me.

 

“Oh, friend Raven, this would look most lovely on you!” she said in an imitation of Starfire's voice.

 

My first instinct was to punch her for mocking my Starfire but the thought was quickly lost as I was struck by the same sweet yet somewhat spicy scent I'd mistaken a moment ago to be Starfire's. I groaned inwardly, the words 'capable and willing' from the book repeating over and over in my mind. Another wave of the scent struck me as the tip of one of her 'horns' tickled my nose and my knees gave out slightly. It was so very different from Starfire's, somehow less soothing but no less potent in its effect.

 

“I... I don't know what you're talking about,” I murmured, already somewhat woozy.

 

“Oh please, you're so hot for the girl a blind person could see it!” she laughed as she put the skirt back on the rack and settled in to stare at me once more. “There's something different about you, isn't there? Aside from being all hot and bothered, I mean.”

 

“I don't know what you're talking about,” I repeated stubbornly, turning away to blush stupidly.

 

“My charms used to bounce right off of you but now your body's eating them up like candy,” she whispered as she began to circle slowly around me, bathing me in that luxurious meta–human scent of hers.

 

 _'She'd be a proud and fierce mother, I'm sure she'd raise a strong...'_ my mind started but I shook my head to clear the thoughts away. A sense of heart rending guilt began to build within my chest, I felt like I was betraying Starfire.

 

“I can't quite put my finger on it... but I think I...”

 

“Raven!”

 

–

 

– _Starfire–_

 

“Raven will look most beautiful in this!” Starfire squealed to herself as she pulled a long pleated skirt off the rack and figured it to be close to Raven's size.

 

Gathering it up into her arms she turned and floated off towards the dark haired girl with an airy smile on her face... only to have it melt away when she saw Jinx of all people holding a skirt up to Raven and expressing how wonderful it would look on her. Her first instinct was to fly over and punch the former evil–doer but she held herself back just enough to notice the plastic rectangle that showed her to be a worker at the clothing store. Still, there was something about the way the girl stood close to Raven that she did not like. It was made even worse because Raven seemed to be getting the same warmth that she did when looking at Starfire herself. The very unfamiliar feeling of white hot jealousy had entered her blood and she was not going to stand for it. Tossing the long skirt aside she grabbed the most erotic looking outfit she could find and flew towards the two of them.

 

“Raven!” she shouted, delighting as the dark haired girl turned and smiled at her in relief. “I found you a most attractive outfit for you to purchase,” she said, holding out a skirt so short it may as well have been a frilly black belt and a matching spaghetti strap tank–top that wouldn't reach within three inches above her belly button. Blushing madly, Raven took the offered items and held them up to herself, receiving a pleased smile from Starfire. “I also have a pair of the heels of highness that would go most wonderfully with them. You will look glorious!” Jinx let out a low whistle of appreciation.

 

“Hmm, with a skirt like that you're gonna need the panties to match,” Jinx said in a low, even, tone. She walked off into the varied racks of clothing and returned with a pair of black thong underwear and offered them to Raven. Starfire felt her knuckles crack as the dark haired girl nervously took them, something about the pink haired girl making her blood boil. “And with an outfit like that you'll definitely need a place to show it off,” she said, pulling a business card and a pen from her pocket to scribble an address on the back. “It's an underground club with an... exclusive clientèle, I'm sure you'll both feel right at home.” She stepped forward and slipped the card into the neckline of Raven's cloak. “I'm there most nights if you're interested, show up around ten,” she whispered in a voice just loud enough for Starfire to hear before pushing away from the blushing girl and walking passed the redhead. “No need to be jealous, princess, I'm sure there's enough Raven to go around.”

 

“I do not know what you are talking about,” Starfire said indignantly. “Raven, let us purchase your new clothing and return home.”

 

“Okay I... what?” the dark haired girl murmured absently. Starfire glanced nervously at the girl before floating close and pressing herself against her arm like before. This had the desired effect of bringing her back to her senses. “Oh yeah, right, sorry about that, Star.”

 

“It is no problem, friend Raven,” Starfire said quietly, feeling anxious.

 

Never in her life had she reacted with such strong jealousy towards someone. The thought that she could not control herself when she was supposed to be helping Raven do the same made her very uncomfortable.

 

“Do you think we should go?” Raven asked, idly toying with the card in her hands. “I've never been to a club outside of a mission before.” Starfire looked into the girl's eyes and saw the mixture of nervousness and desire in them. Sighing and clutching tighter to the arm she held, Starfire nodded her head.

 

“It would be a good chance for you to be around other people and learn more about your new feelings. And I do very much wish to see how attractive you are in your new clothes.” She felt Raven tighten up against her as the words she had just spoken repeated over and over in her mind. Blushing slightly, the alien girl realized she had a lot to think about.

 

–

 

_The knowledge that there was someone other than Starfire that could have that effect on me was disturbing at first. Something deep down told me that Starfire was the one for me and seeing how easy it was for my mind to drift to other women felt so wrong. At least I could take solace in the fact that Jinx's scent had not made me feel the same overwhelming sense of comfort and joy that Starfire's did. The beautiful alien girl's actions had also begun to dwell in the back of my mind. There was no doubt that she had been jealous of the way Jinx had acted towards me and that jealousy implied that her feelings for me may very well go deeper than friendship. My mind was so awash with the possible implications that the cruel mistress known as hope began to take root._

 

_I knew now, without a doubt, that I wanted to be with Starfire even outside of this overwhelming desire to mate with her. She was always able to put me at ease no matter what the situation and for someone like me that spoke volumes about the depth of the comfort I felt around them. Starfire was the embodiment of everything I could hope for in someone to share my life with. With everything I'd witnessed, I had to stop and wonder if maybe, just maybe, she felt the same..._

 

_In the end we had decided not to go to the club that night. An entire day of resisting my body's urges had been more draining than I had imagined, leaving me exhausted by the time we'd returned to the tower. Starfire herself seemed relieved, most likely with the idea that she didn't have to deal with Jinx again just yet. We decided to go during the weekend, an idea that brought me an odd sense of exhilaration in that it seemed very much like we were planning a date. The sense of guilt that I was somehow betraying Robin was quickly beginning to fade and more and more I started to question if there really was something between them after all. That night, in spite of all my nervous pondering, was some of the best sleep I had ever had. The morning after... that was even better..._

 

–

 

– _Raven–_

 

I sniffed longingly as something sweet smelling tickled at my nose and soon after my ears were filled with an odd, high pitched scuffling sort of sound. Both sensations stopped soon after and almost allowed me to drift back to sleep before returning with equal fervor. Quickly forgetting about any chance of falling back to sleep, I opened my eyes to find the source of the disturbance, finding myself looking up into a pair of smiling emerald eyes.

 

“Morning's of goodness!” Starfire announced happily as she floated above me on the bed, using a lock of her hair to lightly tickle the underside of my nose before giggling behind her hand. Upon discovering that both of the disturbances had such an adorable source, all of the irritation at being awakened faded away. I smiled up at the beaming alien girl, reaching up to gently caress her cheek with one hand... as a distraction while I swung a pillow at her with the other. She expertly dodged the attack by flitting backwards into the air, giggling like a schoolgirl. “If you wish to have the fight of pillows it will have to wait until after you have consumed the glorious feast I have prepared!” she shouted excitedly as she floated down to the floor and pulled the cover off of a tray I hadn't noticed. Beneath the cover lay an assortment of the most odd looking food I had ever seen, and I'd seen Starfire's cooking before.

 

“You... you made me breakfast in bed?” The girl nodded happily.

 

“I remembered that you did not feel like celebrating your day of womanhood before so I woke up early and made these special treats for you. It is important that you honor the most wondrous gift nature has given!” she announced with such heartfelt conviction that I couldn't help but be swept up in it.

 

“You're so absolutely wonderful Starfire, you went through all this trouble for me... it's just so...”

 

I found myself blinking back tears at the heartwarming gifts the girl continued to give me. I looked down at the food which, despite its questionable appearance and smell, had obviously been crafted with all the love and devotion the girl could manage.

 

“And this meal! It looks so wonderful I don't even know where to start!” The red headed girl's broad smile managed to grow even wider at the compliments.

 

“Do you really mean it?” she asked excitedly.

 

“Of course I do, why?” She bit her bottom lip nervously and looked down at the floor.

 

“I asked Beast Boy to test the meal to see if I had not made any mistakes and he implied that he would rather consume the dung of an equine and pierce his eye sockets with a flaming piece of sharpened wood than eat any of my Tamaranean cooking...” I felt a flush of shame at the girls downtrodden tone, having myself once refused to eat a meal she had prepared. I quickly thought of something to say that would brighten her mood.

 

“Well it's his loss because that just means there's more for me to enjoy!” I announced happily.

 

I would have felt stupid over such a corny line if it hadn't worked so well. Starfire, unable to contain her glee, leaped into the air and dived at me with her arms wide open. In my haste to brace myself for her impact I managed to slip myself from under the covers to lean against the headboard of my bed... remembering an instant too late that I hadn't worn anything to sleep last night. Starfire, completely unaware of her position, snuggled her cheek tightly against mine and sighed dreamily.

 

“You say such sweet words to me that my hearts cannot remain still in my chest... much like yours right now,” she said, a hint of curiosity entering her voice.

 

My heart was indeed thundering away as what could only be described as liquid fire filled my veins. The tips of my breasts, so roughly pressed against the material of her top, were sending wave after wave of near agonizing pleasure through my body. Instinct took over as I reached my arms around her body, first to trail my fingers through her silken red hair, and then to wrap around her shoulders and pull her tight against me. I breathed deeply of her hypnotizing scent and the flames burning inside me rose ever higher. She stirred against me, responding to my touch by nuzzling deeper into the embrace.

 

“Starfire...” I gasped, finding barely any air remaining in my lungs.

 

“Mmm, Raven's skin feels most cool and comforting against my...” she paused then, a jolt of panic lighting up her contented aura as she pulled away to look down into my eyes.

 

I bit my lower lip and turned away to avoid seeing her expression as she pushed away further so her eyes could continue down. I heard her make a surprised squeak before her weight lifted off of me, my body screaming in protest at the loss of her presence. Once again I felt the need to apologize, obviously having crossed the line with my actions.

 

“Starfire I'm...”

 

“Oh, that could have been most embarrassing!” she giggled. I turned to face her in surprise, seeing that she was indeed smiling down at me.

 

“C–could have been?” I asked meekly, bringing the covers up to my neck to hide from her peering eyes.

 

“Yes, before I decided to give tickles to your nose I had planned to sneak under your blankets and surprise you with much hugging and tickling. I did not know that you also do not sleep with clothing!” she said with another giggle as her already orange tinted cheeks darkened a few shades.

 

The image that confession conjured in the depths of my mind wouldn't soon be forgotten. After a while though her mirth filled eyes clouded over somewhat as her aura darkened.

 

“What's wrong?”

 

“I... I am sorry for forcing my body onto yours, I know that you are having great troubles with your emotions. I understand if you wish me to leave,” she murmured, turning and floating limply towards the door. I leaped from the bed in the flash to grab one of her wrists, my nudity temporarily forgotten.

 

“What?! No! You didn't do anything wrong! Your skin is so warm and... and I feel so comfortable with you, I already told you that. Don't... don't leave me, please!” She looked down at me with tear rimmed eyes to which I offered the warmest smile I could manage. Eventually, her familiar smile broke through.

 

“This keeps happening, does it not? I do not understand why but my desire to make you happy has always been strong, but even more than ever I have felt it these past few days and nights. It pains my hearts to think that you may suffer because I am not able to help you.” Now it was my eyes that were filling with tears.

 

“Just... just hearing you say that makes me happy. I care for you too Starfire, more than I thought I ever could for anybody. You've always been helping me, even before my emotions were free.” I tugged on her hand to pull her down to the bed and took my seat next to her, summoning the tray over to us with my magic. “I want you to share this meal with me, it'll be a celebration for both of us.”

 

“It is a great showing of respect to offer to share a ceremonial feast,” she said, leaning her head on my shoulder and wrapping an arm around my waist.

 

“Then it's perfect!” I announced happily, cutting into a lightly smoking, florescent green, brick–like dish and putting it cautiously into my mouth, delighting at the surprisingly sweet taste.

 

“Would you like me to remove my clothing as well?”

 

–

“I don't know about this, Star... are you sure you want to? I'd understand if you don't think you'd be comfortable,” I murmured as she pulled me onward.

 

“I am the one who offered, friend Raven, it is your comfort that I am concerned for,” she answered, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. I turned away and bit my lip nervously.

 

“I've always wanted to do it with you Starfire... I just never thought you'd be so willing. You're the only one I know I'd be comfortable with so this is...” I trailed off, too embarrassed to finish the sentence. She paused in her tugging and turned so that we were eye to eye.

 

“Though I very much enjoy viewing the cuteness of Raven when she is embarrassed I do not wish for you to feel that way with me. You may tell me anything and I will not desire to spend less time with you. I have enjoyed our girl time very much and wish to do much more of it in the future!” As per usual, the alien girl was easily able to put me ease with her loving nature.

 

“I was just going to say that this is kind of a dream come true for me... I never thought I'd be able to share something so... intimate with someone. The fact that it's you just makes it that much better. Really, this means a lot to me, Star,” I finished, finding that in spite of my nervousness I couldn't help but admire the sheer beauty of the young woman in front of me.

 

The gentle features of her angelic face and the sensuality that radiated from every wonderful curve of her body were simply mesmerizing and the mixture of adoration and desire I felt for the girl combined together to form a gentle warmth throughout my system. She took my hand in both of hers and smiled shyly.

 

“Come, Raven, I now fear that I may become too embarrassed to enjoy this glorious experience if I hear any more of your sweet words,” she murmured, pulling away slowly to tug me onward. I didn't have long to enjoy the view of her floating in front of me before we came to a stop in front of my bedroom door. “We are here...” Reluctantly, I let go of her hand and opened the door, pausing in the entrance and turning around to face her.

 

“Are you sure you...”

 

She silenced me with a finger to my lips as she floated passed me into the room, setting down on the edge of the bed to remove her boots and the bracers from her forearms before patting the space next to her invitingly. I fought down the maelstrom of images the scene invited and removed my own shoes before floating over to settle in front of her.

 

“I admit that I do not know how this action is performed. You spoke something about 'becoming one' but I do not understand,” she said, tilting her head adorably.

 

“Don't worry, Star, it'll feel really natural and I'll be right here to guide you through it.”

 

“You will not tease me if I have the looks of foolishness?”

 

“You never look foolish to me, now let's get started. I want you to put your legs like this so they come together with mine so our hands can still touch comfortably once we get into it,” I said, positioning our bodies in what I'd read was the easiest position for beginners to start with. “Let's begin,” I said, holding out my hands over our crossed legs.

 

“Oh this is most exciting!” she giggled, placing her hands in mine and interlacing our fingers together as we lifted into the air. “My first time meditating with Raven!”

 

–

 

– _Starfire–_

 

Starfire's eyes fluttered open, confusion filling her as she realized she could not see anything and that her eyelashes brushed against something when she blinked. She heard a small sound to one side and turned, noticing as she did that her whole body felt warm and remarkably comfortable, to see the underside of Raven's chin. A smile teased at her lips as she realized that she must have dozed off in the middle of their meditation. The girl noticed that her legs had come undone as they drifted and she was now laying across Raven with her head nestled into the crook of the girl's neck. Their hands, still clasped together, had settled at Raven's sides.

 

For a moment she considered pulling away from the embrace but quickly decided that she would be happier as she was. An odd sort of tingling appeared in her stomach with the realization of just how comfortable she felt against the other girl. It wasn't just this moment either, more like a combination of all the moments they had shared. Right from the very beginning she had known she felt something special for the dark haired girl but it wasn't until this moment that she realized just how comfortable Raven made her feel. The alien girl's brow furrowed slightly as she realized that she should probably do something to show her appreciation to the one who could make her feel this way.

 

This led to another confusing train of thought as to what exactly she could do to show Raven how much she appreciated her company. Of all the people that were important to her in her life, Starfire found that Raven was by far the most difficult to understand, much more so in the past few weeks. While Starfire greatly enjoyed the other girl's new, much more open and willing, personality it was the cause of much confusion and even worry. Learning of Raven's attraction for her had been an interesting experience for the alien girl, one that had forced her to consider many things she never had before. In the end she had decided that things would happen as they were meant to happen and that she would simply try to enjoy it as much as possible.

 

“Is something wrong, Star? You're aura seems... different,” Raven said quietly, her voice thick with an emotion Starfire was beginning to recognize more easily as she continued to spend time with the dark haired girl. The alien girl lifted her head from her friends shoulder and shook it gently, a smile on her lips.

 

“No, Raven, everything is...” She removed her hands from the other girl's and reached up with one to caress Raven's face before leaning in to place a gentle kiss on the focusing crystal embedded in the girl's forehead. When she pulled away she could see tears building in Raven's eyes and offered the girl a warm smile before lowering her head into Raven's lap and wrapping her arms around the girl's waist. The tingly feeling in her stomach began to slowly spread throughout the rest of her body as she settled into the other girl. She let out a sigh of contentment as she felt Raven place a hand tentatively on the top of her head and begin to gently stroke her hair. “Everything is glorious...” she murmured, feeling warm, comfortable, and safe in her friend's embrace.

 

–

 

_It would have been so easy to turn my face to catch her lips with my own... so easy to take advantage of her sweet gesture. I could feel it permeating her aura, a sense of ease that I could have taken advantage of to press my feelings onto her. The images my mind created of lowering her down onto the bed, slowly removing her clothing piece by piece, and then finally tasting and caressing every inch of her sweet smelling skin threatened to push me into action. It would have been so passionate... so beautiful... and yet... at the same time I knew it would have been wrong to act on them._

 

_Starfire was too sweet... too perfect to have her trusting nature abused like that. I swore then and there that no matter how tortured my body felt I would protect her from my rampant desires at all costs. Even as my body strained against itself a sense of relief washed over me... it was the knowledge that my love for the beautiful alien girl was strong, my desire to be with her extending so much further than physical attraction. For the barest instant my mind rebelled against such contentment, a flash of pink hair and a spicy scent drifting through the back of my mind but it quickly passed. As we drifted easily in the air over my bed, her resting in my lap, me running my fingers through her silken hair, I knew that mind, body, and soul... the Tamaranean princess was the one that I loved with all my heart..._

 

–

_To be continued..._

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Awakening**

Chapter Three: Seduction Demonic

 

_I spent most of the time I wasn't with Starfire with my nose buried in the tome. I figured knowing more about the changes I may experience down the line certainly couldn't hurt anything. Most of what I learned wasn't really a cause for concern but a few of the closely related passages made me stop and think. There were certain conditions laid down for the mating cycle that needed to be met and I had no desire to test the limits of them. I decided that I would explain everything to Starfire after we got back from the club and proceed from there depending on her response. For better or worse... it was time to get the truth..._

 

–

_**First Dance** _

–

 

– _Raven–_

 

I had to fight down the unfamiliar urge to squeal when the knock came at my door. Looking at myself in the mirror one final time I decided that the outfit, while utterly embarrassing, felt oddly liberating. Never before had I shown so much of my ash-gray skin and after seeing myself like this I decided that would have to change. I also cast one last furtive glance at the large tome that lay atop my bed, the various warnings and insights about my situation cycling through my head before focusing my gaze on the door. Trembling with a mixture of nervousness and excitement, I hit the button to open it.

 

“Hey, Rave', I was wonderin' if you had a minute to talk... about... damn girl, what're you wearing!” With a shriek I hit the button again to shut the door in Cyborg's face. Heart rampaging in my chest, I summoned my cloak and threw it around my shoulders before hitting the button again. He looked me up and down and shook his head. “Liked it better the other way, but whatever. You got a minute?”

 

“What?” I asked with a mixture of indignant anger and embarrassment.

 

The mechanical man scratched uncomfortably at the back of his neck for a minute before deciding on how to proceed.

 

“How ya been feelin'?” he asks.

 

I look at him quizzically for a moment before sighing and lowering my gaze.

 

“So you've noticed?” I asked, deciding to skip to the point and spare him the trouble. “I figured that you'd be the first to catch on.”

 

“Wasn't gonna say anything at first, figured it was just something personal but then Star started acting funny and all. Goin' off the timing I'm sure it has somethin' to do with that whole mess with your father. So... what's goin' on?” he asked finally.

 

I gave the mechanical man a sad smile. Of the male Titans, I held the most respect for Cyborg. Beast Boy was only tolerable due to his childish nature and Robin... well, even outside of my dislike of him because of the situation with Starfire I found him to be more than a little stuck up and arrogant.

 

“It's a long, miserable, story but for you I guess I'll...” I could sense Starfire coming down the hall and frowned, my gaze shifting over to the tome that lay on my bed. “Actually, I think this could explain the situation better than I can,” I said, picking up the book and charging it with dark energies. “Just focus your thoughts on what you want to know and it'll open to the information you're looking for.” I paused for a moment before handing him the book. “Use the dark half for questions about my... father's side of me.”

 

He studied my face for a moment before nodding.

 

“Thanks, Rave', I wouldn't ask if I didn't think it was important.”

 

“I know,” I said quietly before turning as Starfire stepped up to the open doorway and frowned upon seeing the disappointed look on her face. “What's wrong, Star?”

 

“I have been most excited all day to see you in your new clothing. It is okay though, Raven looks glorious no matter what she dresses herself in,” Starfire said, putting on an obviously fake smile.

 

Cyborg laughs and reaches over to jerk the cloak off my shoulders.

 

“No need to be sad, Star, she's just shy!” Cyborg shouts before erupting with laughter, only to pause when he realizes he was the only one laughing. Starfire's wide eyed gaze had brought a furious blush to my cheeks, forcing me to turn my eyes slightly sideways as she looked me up and down.

 

“Raven... you look...”

 

I felt a swell of pride in the fact that she couldn't even finish the sentence. Facing her fully, I took in the alien girl's own appearance with an appreciative up and down look. For the most part she'd simply made alterations to her normal outfit but the effort was not lost on me. The top she wore now left her shoulders and neck bare, relying solely on the girl's deceptively ample breasts to stay aloft. She'd also replaced the forearm guards she normally wore with a pair of silver bracelets and her high boots with a pair of short heels. The effect on the whole was staggering to my senses. The mere sight of so much more of that gorgeous golden skin of hers made the burning in my stomach almost unbearable.

 

“You look beautiful, Starfire...”

 

“Right, I think I'm gonna go so you two can get to... whatever you're doing,” the mechanical man said uncomfortably, easing past Starfire and out the door. “I'll just leave the book in your room when I'm done with it,” he called out as he made his way down the hall.

 

“...glorious,” she finally manged.

 

“Are you ready to go?” I asked.

 

After a moment she shook her head and looked at me clearly for the first time.

 

“Yes I am, this is most exciting, is it not?” she asked, a sort of nervous glee in her eyes.

 

I smile and hold my arms out for her, she pauses and looks at me with an adorable little head tilt.

 

“I... uh... don't really want to fly wearing this,” I say, blushing as I tug nervously on the skirt.

 

She giggles behind her hand and nods before floating forward and wrapping her arms around my neck. I pause a moment to savor the wonderful feeling of her skin and breathe deeply of her sweet scent before enveloping us in darkness and teleporting us into the city.

 

–

 

– _Starfire–_

 

“I do not think Jinx was being honest when she told us of this place,” Starfire said coldly.

 

I could feel her aura flare at the mention of the pink haired girl.

 

“I didn't sense any deception when she suggested it,” I offered, though the building did look more like an old meat packing plant than anything else.

 

“Maybe you were distracted by her and could not measure properly?” she murmurs with a hint of accusation in her voice.

 

“What's that supposed to mean?” I asked, bringing a hint of scarlet to her cheeks.

 

“I... I am not sure,” she said quietly and turned away. “I think it would be best if we simply went to another place. Terra once took me to a club of dancing on the other side of the city, it would be better if we went there instead.”

 

I paused at the nervous tone of her voice.

 

“Is something wrong, Starfire?”

 

She looked at me a moment before lowering her eyes.

 

“I do not trust Jinx. I feel that she has something planned for you that... that I do not like.”

 

I smiled and put my hand on her shoulder.

 

“I don't know what I did to deserve someone like you in my life, Koriand'r... but whatever it was I'm glad it happened,” I said quietly.

 

Her eyes seemed to sparkle at this.

 

“It is a rare treat when Raven uses my true name... I am also grateful for the fortune that brought us together. You are the greatest friend I have ever had.”

 

We shared a quiet moment before I stepped forward and put my hand on the door.

 

“I say we go in. The worst that can happen is we beat up some thugs and spend a little more time together. That's not too bad if you ask me.” She seemed to think about it for a moment and stepped up next to me. Grinning broadly, I pushed open the door and found pretty much exactly what one would expect from the outside. The entirety of the massive room was lined with various areas for cutting and packaging large quantities of meat. There was something else though, a strange disturbance seemed to permeate through the floors into the heels of my shoes. I summoned a pool of darkness and sent it out across the floor to find the source of the disturbance. “It's over here,” I said quietly, reaching out to take her hand and guide her through the darkened factory floor towards the carefully hidden entrance and threw it open with a surge of power.

 

We were instantly enveloped by a wave of warm air and hypnotically pulsing music.

 

“She did say it was a club that was under the ground, yes?” Starfire suggested sheepishly.

 

I merely grinned and took her hand as we descended the steps, making sure to close the entrance behind us. It took all of three seconds to determine exactly what type of club this was. No matter where you looked there were women dancing, women flirting over drinks, and women locked in steamy kissing sessions. I swallowed nervously and sneaked a quick peek at Starfire to see her reaction, my heart falling when I saw the confused look on her face.

 

“I... is something wrong, Star?” I asked after a while, my palm suddenly feeling sweaty in hers.

 

“It is just odd...” she said slowly, her tone sending icy cold fingers of dread to work their way around my heart. “This looks very much the same as the club of dancing that Terra took me to. Do men not dance on this world?”

 

I let out a choked laugh, my suspicions about the tomboyish blonde being confirmed.

 

“I... well I'm sure they do, it's just this club is only for women I think.”

 

“I see!” she said in wonderment.

 

“Starfire...” I begin nervously, a glimmer of hope I hadn't been expecting burning in my chest. “Did... did you enjoy it?”

 

“Oh yes! Many of them wished to dance with me and buy me sweet tasting drinks. They were all very nice, I had a glorious time!” she said, her aura flaring wildly as she bounced in rhythm with the music. I glanced nervously at the throng of scantily clad women that filled the room, the fear of the lust that burned inside me building rapidly. The tantalizing view was suddenly replaced with Starfire's concerned face. “If it is too much for you we do not have to stay.”

 

I shook my head, unwilling to pass up such a chance no matter the risk.

 

“I need to do this, Star... and you'll be with me, right?”

 

“I will not leave your side, Raven,” she said, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze before floating in the direction of the dance floor and tugging me along. “Come, I will show you some of the moves of dancing I learned last time!”

 

As if on cue, the instant we stepped foot onto the dance floor the fast paced music died down into a slow and easy romantic melody. I swallowed hard over the lump in my throat.

 

“I guess we'll have to wait for...”

 

“Oh, these are my favorite!” she exclaimed happily, taking my hands and placing them on her hips before slipping hers around my neck and pressing in against me. The combined assault of my thumbs caressing her bare waist, her body pressed tight against mine, and the most powerful wave of her sweet scent I'd ever been struck with left me trembling against her lithe body. “You have nothing to be afraid of Raven,” she whispered sweetly into my ear. “Think of my body against yours and feel safe.”

 

 _'It's your body I don't trust myself with...'_ I thought dreamily as I nodded and pressed myself closer against her as we rocked slowly back and forth.

 

The feeling of our breasts and our hips rubbing together ever so slightly as we moved was absolutely incredible. I was, however, surprised to find that the sexual tension I had expected did not come. Rather, it had been replaced by something else entirely; something deeper and infinitely more intimate. It was like I could feel every single movement of her body flowing into me, the sensation of skin against skin was heightened a hundred fold and every single hint of her scent was making my body tingle. I slid my hands up and down her waist a few times before tracing them around to the small of her back to tease the warm golden flesh there. I heard her gasp and pulled away slightly, just enough to catch sight of the graceful curve of her neck. Lost in the sensual haze, I leaned in and pressed my lips against her skin, relishing in the silky warmth it provided. It was like paradise...

 

“Raven... the song has ended,” Starfire's voice drifted through the haze of exhilaration.

 

I opened my eyes and saw that everyone had returned to dancing as usual, the rhythmic throb of trance music echoing within the walls. I pulled my lips away with an audible pop, surprising myself with the realization that I had been suckling joyously on her neck.

 

“That was... that was incredible Starfire!” I shouted, slowly peeling myself away from her body. “Is it always like that?”

 

She smiled shyly and shook her head.

 

“I do not think so. It was not like that with the other girls I danced with... I am excited to find out if the other moves of dancing are as wonderful when I am with you!” she said, also sounding somewhat dizzy. I caught the faintest hint of a spicy scent and turned towards the writhing throng of women in search of its source. “Is something wrong, Raven?”

 

I turned back towards Starfire and shook my head.

 

“So... um... do you think you can teach me to dance like them?” I asked, motioning towards a pair of girls that were grinding their hips together and caressing each others bodies with reckless abandon. Starfire's face flushed as she nodded shyly.

 

“I am most grateful that you asked...”

 

–

_**Rejection...** _

–

 

_The memory of Starfire's hips bucking and grinding against my own as her hands caressed nearly every inch of my body would forever be burned into my mind. The night at the club had been one incredibly exhilarating moment after another and it pained me to have to leave that wonderful place. I made several mental notes to thank Jinx for giving me such a wonderful insight into the depths that Starfire's wild passion could reach. Every new discovery I made about the beautiful alien girl had me falling deeper and deeper in love with her and what's more; the hope that she would accept my love was soaring ever higher._

 

_I felt invincible... and unfortunately... feeling invincible is only the first step to realizing that you're not..._

 

–

 

– _Raven–_

 

“Thank you so much Starfire! This has been the most incredible day of my life!” I shouted, flinging myself into her arms in much the same way I would expect from her.

 

She laughed lightly as we rolled in the air above the tower and returned my hug joyfully.

 

“I am very grateful to you as well, friend Raven, for the same reasons you speak of. I have never felt as free as I did while dancing in your arms. So many wonderful feelings I had not yet experienced! There was much learning for both of us I think.”

 

There was only one word of that I didn't like.

 

“Friend Raven...” I muttered quietly before I could stop myself.

 

“Is something wrong?” she asked, pulling back to fix me in her emerald gaze.

 

“Starfire... we need to talk.”

 

Picking up on the seriousness of my tone she nodded and floated us down to the rooftop and waited patiently for me to continue. Looking into those sweet and innocent eyes I found my resolve beginning to falter. The idea that what I had to say might hurt her made it almost unbearable but I knew I couldn't let things continue as they were, not after tonight. I took a deep breath and spoke the first words.

 

“I can't do this anymore Star. Spending so much time with you like this has been so wonderful... but so painful as well. I lived my whole life alone and locked up in a near emotionless prison with your sweet presence merely teasing me with what it was like to be normal... to be happy. And now that my emotions are free, now that I can feel everything for what it is, now that I can enjoy your presence with every fiber of my being... it terrifies me!”

 

“Raven...” she said quietly, reaching out to gather me in her arms but I pulled away.

 

“I'm scared because I want to be more than just your friend, Koriand'r... you're so perfect, so absolutely beautiful that I can barely contain myself.” I took her hands in mine and locked my eyes with hers, taking in her nervous excitement and using it to fuel to resolve. “I... I want to be... I want what you have with... I want you to love me in the way that you love Robin!”

 

It passed through her eyes and her aura so quickly that I would have missed it if not for my heightened awareness of the girl. A shear tidal wave of confusion as was to be expected but just tinging the edges of it... was something like disgust.

 

“I... I was not expecting you to say that. I do not understand, Raven, I thought that you...”

 

“I know you don't understand... part of me kept telling myself that you wouldn't no matter how much you seemed to enjoy being with me... but I just had to try.”

 

“But... why would you feel that way for me? You are a female, it is not natural.”

 

I turned away, my heart unable to bear it any longer.

 

“I'm sorry Koriand'r... I hope that someday you'll understand...” I whispered as the darkness enveloped me.

 

–

 

– _Starfire–_

 

Eyes bleary with tears, Starfire halfheartedly hovered down through the tower, bumping into walls and tables as she went. She had never understood the feeling of being numb on the inside until this point. She had never before known the ache of having all of your hopes dashed to pieces until this night. She had never, in all of her life, felt as sad and lonely as she did right now. The alien girl didn't know or care where her flight took her, she only hoped it was somewhere less painful.

 

“Hey, Star, you and Rave' back from... Starfire?”

 

She looked up blearily to see that she had made her way into the living room and had three sets of eyes upon her.

 

“I...”

 

“Starfire, what's wrong?!”

 

Cyborg reached her first and shook her lightly by the shoulders.

 

“I...”

 

“Where's Raven?”

 

The mention of the dark haired girl managed to bring her thoughts into focus.

 

“I am the heart broken...” she whimpered, bottom lip trembling as tears began to swell in her eyes. “Raven... such sweet words she said to me... told me I was beautiful... I thought... I thought she wished me to be her Rentrap Evol!” she wailed as the sadness broke through.

 

Cyborg's human eye went wide as his programming translated the Tamaranean words. He just barely managed to keep from dropping her.

 

“What's a... whatever the heck she just said?” Beast Boy asked, glancing nervously at Robin.

 

The mechanical man paused for a moment, unsure of whether he should tell them.

 

“It's... a promise of love for life kinda thing, like getting engaged only more important... more like a soul mate,” Cyborg said before returning his attention to the heartbroken girl. “Starfire, I need to know what she said, it's important.”

 

The girl nodded and tried to sniffle back her tears.

 

“She did not swear the... the life love with me. I do not understand, she said she wished to be my father...” she whispered pitifully, nearly giving into the tears again.

 

“Father?” Cyborg muttered before shaking his head. “What did she say exactly?”

 

“She... she had just told me how beautiful she thought I was and then she said she wished I loved her like I love Robin. I told her I did not understand because she was a female... she became very sad and left in the darkness. I hurt her and I do not understand how!”

 

It took all of five seconds for the situation to play itself out in Cyborg’s head and he shook it sadly.

 

“Starfire, that's not it at all! She thought you were in love with Robin like a life lover... we all did actually,” Cyborg added, throwing Robin a curious glance.

 

The boy wonder merely shrugged and shook his head. Starfire's tears came to a sudden halt.

 

“Raven does not wish to be my father?” Cyborg shook his head. “She wishes to swear the life love with me?”

 

“Well, I think so, but Star, I've got something important to...”

 

“I am coming Raven!” she shouted, pushing away from the mechanical man and flying up the stairs towards the dark haired girl's room.

 

“This could be bad guys...”

 

“Tell me about it, it's weird seeing Star fall apart like that,” Beast Boy muttered.

 

“I ain't talkin' about Star... Raven's in trouble...”

 

–

_**Diverging paths...** _

–

 

_My chest hurt, and not just the metaphorical heart ache that came from being rejected by Starfire, it literally felt like my heart was trying to rip its way out of my chest. My skin was burning, and not in the pleasant way it did whenever my lust was reaching its peak, it felt like it was about to melt from my bones. It seemed like my whole body was rebelling against me as my yet to be sated lust ran rampant throughout my system. Thought and motion seemed to blur together at random and, without any recollection of how I'd gotten there, I found myself back outside the club leaning against the heavy doors and clutching at my chest. My rampant emotions ceased their swirling for barely a moment and I could taste the bitter misery that consumed me. My love, the only thing I could ever say I wanted with all my heart to be fulfilled, had been denied to me by the very nature of the world itself. I was unfit, unclean, undeserving, and... unnatural. A freak with no place in the world._

 

_But then it occurred to me in my half mad state that there were other paths beyond the ones we felt were destined to us, other ways of forging our journey through life. And there were always... always... someone else to love..._

 

–

 

– _Raven–_

 

I paused for a few moments to watch her dance. She was alone but that was purely by choice as I could feel the desire from the women around her without even a hint of effort. The attention was well deserved I noted as my eyes took in every lithe curve her fantastic meta–human body had to offer. Every movement held a deadly sort of grace to it and before long I found it much more hypnotizing than the music itself. I began to drift closer, catching an occasional hint of that spicy scent she carried in that deliciously pale skin of hers. Her rhythmic dancing combined with the music and that lofty aroma were putting me into the somewhat familiar state of dizzy euphoria.

 

“Hey! Who the fuck do you think you... Raven?” I shook my head to clear it and realized I had a hand firmly placed on her ass. She quirked an eyebrow and grinned like a cat that knew it was doing something it shouldn't before slowly starting up her dancing once again, inching back towards me until we were pressed together. “Figured you'd be all cozy with your princess after that show you put on earlier. I never would have guessed Starfire would be such a hell cat on the dance floor.”

 

“She didn't want me,” I said blankly, barely registering the shock on her face as I took her hips in my hands and began moving in tune with her.

 

Part of me felt a rush of exhilaration, the other part felt numb.

 

“She could have fooled me... but then I don't really see you as a vanilla kinda girl,” she said, spinning around and mounting my leg. The feel of her heat against my thigh was almost unbearable. The dizzy euphoria was quickly changing into rampant lust. I buried my face in her neck and nipped at the tender flesh while my hands snaked down to give her surprisingly supple backside a good squeeze. She pushed me back and kissed her way up my neck to tug gently on my lower lip with her teeth. “Figured a more exotic flavor would be right for you,” she whispered, eyes hazy with lust.

 

“Jinx...”

 

“Raven...”

 

I leaned in and kissed her. The moment our lips touched, I knew my life would never be the same...

 

–

 

The alarm sounded for a full minute before I managed to summon up enough willpower to drag myself out of bed and phase into my leotard, noticing with some distaste how snug it felt against my body. Falling out of shape was always a clear indicator that things were going downhill for a crime fighter and I was no exception to the rule. The previous months had been such a mixture of bitter and sweet that I could never really decide if I was wondrously happy or depressed. I sighed at the reflection the mirror offered me; hair long and unkempt, bags under my eyes from lack of sleep, and said weight gain all rolled into a package I barely recognized anymore. I turned away from my distasteful expression and took a final longing look at the bed before wrapping myself in darkness and teleporting to the main room.

 

“Hey,” I say to the others who have obviously been waiting for me to arrive.

 

Robin looks as if he wants to reprimand me but the words die on his lips. Cyborg and Beast Boy barely even glanced at me, the distant yet friendly relationship we once shared now a thing of the past.

 

“Friend Raven, it is good that you have come,” Starfire says, floating over to me and smiling.

 

Of course she had forgiven me. It simply wasn't in her nature to hold a grudge. Still though, her friendly affection was more out of pity than desire, even if she didn't realize it. To be honest, I wish she had taken up the indifference the others had but I didn't have the heart to tell her. Even after everything that happened, her feelings still meant so much more to me than my own.

 

“Thanks, Starfire,” I say quietly, barely paying attention as Robin outlines whatever is happening that requires our attention.

 

I sigh as I realize even this has fallen into a routine of half caring babble that I ignore until the always present...

 

“Titans go!”

 

There it was, the call to action. He'd say the words and we'd all jump to it using our various methods. It was all so...

 

“Wait!” a voice called from the top of the stairs. I turned to see her... well, them really, the only light the world had left for me. Jinx stood at the top of the stairs, leaned against the railing for support with one hand bracing the side of her enormously swollen belly that managed to look even larger on her petite frame. “Were you honestly just going to leave your girls behind without goodbye kisses?” she asks, tapping one slipper clad foot impatiently.

 

I floated to the top of the steps with a smile and kissed her on the lips before placing another one on her belly.

 

“You know, I thought you were just being snippy, but I'm starting to think you were right...” I said, tugging uncomfortably at my leotard.

 

“Oh relax, you look beautiful,” she said, glancing irritably down the stairs as Robin cleared his throat impatiently. “Guess you'd better get going, you take care of yourself out there.”

 

“I promise,” I whispered, stealing one final kiss before making my way downstairs. I managed to catch sight of Starfire's downcast expression before she hid it behind her usual smile. “Let's go.”

 

–

 

I pulled away from the kiss and reeled backwards as if I'd been struck, falling to my knees as the impression from the vision seared itself into the back of my mind. I'd only had a few visions like that in my life and unfortunately they all shared a common theme... the wrong path for my life to take. The tears came all too easily as I realized my chance for happiness in the future was almost non–existent. I could feel Jinx kneel down with me and lean her head on my shoulder.

 

“Jinx... I...”

 

“I saw it too,” she said quietly. “It's sweet that you would love me so much... even with how huge I was carrying that baby of yours... but I know the wrong thing when I see it. Looks like my bad luck lives up to its name with you, Raven.”

 

“I'm sorry... I'm so sorry...”

 

“Nah, don't be. I should have known better after seeing the two of you dance earlier. I've always had a problem trusting my gut...”

 

“I thought I picked up on your scent, why didn't you say anything?”

 

“I was the DJ,” she said with a giggle.

 

“So then you...” I trailed off at the memory of the slow song's timing.

 

“You can thank me later, just go and get the girl or whatever it is you hero types do. This city would be shit without you protecting it wholeheartedly,” she said, finishing with a wink.

 

“I don't even know where to start... but I'm going to try,” I said, voice filling with a measure of confidence. I stood and lifted her up with me, our eyes met and I smiled a sad smile before pulling her into an embrace. Our lips came together for a gentle kiss as the memory of eight months of love and affection faded slowly into the back of our minds. “Thanks Jinx,” I whispered after pulling away, taking a few steps back and gathering the darkness around me.

 

“Hey Raven?” she called out.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“If things don't work out like they're supposed to... or if you and Starfire just want some extra company... promise you'll come and see me?” she asked with a nervous smile.

 

I grinned and nodded.

 

“I promise,” I said before vanishing with the darkness.

 

“I hope so,” she whispered to the empty air, a single tear rolling down her cheek. “I gave up everything I was so you would notice me...”

 

–

 

_To be continued..._


	4. Emotional Chaos

**Awakening**

Chapter Four: Emotional Chaos

 

_Not ten seconds would pass before my new-found determination would be put to the test. It was nobody's fault but my own, I should have paid more attention to the warnings the book had given me. Perhaps it was an adequate way to end things, one final conflict against the monster that threatened to tear me apart. Unfortunately, in my case the monster was much more literal than the inner demons most people experience in their lifetimes. This is the path I have chosen though and the mistakes I have made are a part of that choice no matter how much I wish I didn't carry them with me._

 

_After all, denying the devil once is foolish. Denying the devil twice... is suicide..._

 

–

_**Corruption...** _

–

 

**– _Raven–_**

 

Pain. Pain like I'd never experienced even after all of the battles I'd fought tore through my body the instant I stepped from the darkness onto the roof of the tower. A choked scream died on my lips as I fell to my knees, a dizzying wave of nausea hitting me just seconds before a thick stream of blood began pouring from my lips in a seemingly endless torrent of sticky red liquid. The searing heat in my bones increased several times over and my whole body seemed to go stiff as my limbs pulled themselves in opposite directions as if to tear themselves from their own sockets. The blood finally ceased its release and allowed me to scream as a ripple of loud pops echoed from within my flesh as bones began to realign themselves. Half-mad fear consumed me as I flung my consciousness outward in a desperate attempt to call for help, feeling myself brush against the one mind that could provide any sort of comfort in this nightmare.

 

_“Koriand'r...”_

 

_“Raven! I must tell you that I...”_ her mental voice trailed off as my pitiful reserve of strength gave out and I was thrust back into my tortured body.

 

I arrived back just in time to feel my skull split apart and stretch, a breathless scream echoing in my chest as I clutched at the sides of my head. Something about the motion felt so very wrong but I had no time to wonder as a new surge of pain shot up through my arms and into my hands which fell from my now elongated cranium to hang limply at my sides. A ripple of dark energy spread out from my body like an overflowing pool, congealing around any structure in its path and crushing it under enormous pressure. With a sickening groan from my churning stomach I used what little willpower I had left to pull the darkness back into me in hopes of lessening the damage done.

 

With that last feeble surge of effort my body gave out, falling with a wet slap onto the pool of blood I had vomited. A trickle of fear crawled through what was left of my conscious mind as the blood began to ooze up the sides of my body, enveloping me in a sort of macabre cocoon. Much to my surprise, a welcome flood of cool relief seemed to ease through my strained system as the blood shell constricted around me, the pressure seeming to force the expelled liquid back into my flesh. For an instant the world around me became perfectly clear and focused... before I descended into darkness...

 

–

_**Remembrance...** _

–

 

**– _Jinx–_**

 

Jinx let out a long sigh and smiled a hollow smile at her reflection in the mirror as she let her hair down from its usual upturned position. She undressed in preparation for the bath she had drawn but paused upon catching sight of herself once more, turning sideways and motioning a massively swollen belly in front of her. An image from the vision she had shared with Raven began dancing in the back of her mind as she brought up her fingers to brush them across her lips.

 

“At least I know I'd be a super cute preggo,” she giggled.

 

Turning away from the mirror, she approached the small bathtub and slowly eased herself into the steaming water. She leaned her head back over the rim of the tub and mindlessly counted the cracks in the ceiling, letting her thoughts drift as they pleased. It wasn't long before they settled onto their favorite subject as of late... Raven, and the conversation that had set all of this into motion.

 

–

 

“Why do you keep doing this, Jinx? You commit some petty crime, we show up, you lose, then the story repeats itself. Why don't you just give it up?” Raven panted, exhausted from the drawn out battle with the meta-human witch.

 

Jinx, also breathing heavily, smiled and batted her eyelashes.

 

“But then how would I get my weekly fix of your company?” the pink haired girl asked sweetly. Raven rolled her eyes and turned away.

 

“If this is just a game to you then you should really think about quitting. At the rate you're going you'll end up in jail for the rest of your life or dead. You have a chance at a decent life, why waste it?” Raven said, her words thick with pent up concern.

 

A witty retort died on the luck charmer's lips upon hearing the serious tone in the empath's voice.

 

“You really mean it, don't you?”

 

“Not everybody has the chance for a happy ending,” the dark haired girl said bitterly, making it obvious that she felt that she belonged in that category. She then turned and offered the pink haired girl a thin smile. “I'd hate to see someone like you waste yours.”

 

Jinx cocked an eyebrow.

 

“What do you mean, 'someone like you'?” she asked suspiciously.

 

“You never really had the chance for a normal childhood. You were practically raised from birth to become a villain. Believe me, I know how it feels to be stuck with a destiny you don't want.”

 

“Well how do you know this isn't exactly what I want?” Jinx asked cattily, the surprise wearing off enough for her usual feisty self to return.

 

“Because unlike you, your aura never lies. Anxiety, tension, and layer upon layer of deep seeded depression don't exactly paint a very happy picture. The only times you ever level out towards anything normal is after we've stopped whatever crime you were committing or...” Raven trailed off, casting her eyes downward.

 

“Or what?” the pink haired girl asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

 

“Or when you're around me,” Raven said, the barest hint of a nervous smile tugging at her lips.

 

Jinx looked at the other girl curiously for a moment, trying to decide whether she thought Raven was being serious or merely trying to avoid a fight.

 

“Let's say I agree with what you're saying, what happens to me?”

 

“I take you in, you serve whatever sentence they give you, then you move on with your life.”

 

“Well that sounds pretty damn sucky if you ask me!”

 

“You committed the crimes, didn't you?” Raven said with a shrug.

 

“Well, yeah... but...” Raven looked at her then, her gaze seeming to pierce far deeper than just skin, and let out a slow sigh.

 

“I'll tell you what, I'll go in with you and tell them that you turned yourself in voluntarily and all about the circumstances that led you to where you are now. With that and my word that you're done with crime, they should go pretty easy on you. Like I said, it's hardly your fault you ended up like this.”

 

“And what if I should... fall back into my old ways afterward?” Jinx asked coyly.

 

Having already made her decision she decided that she might as well go out with a little style. That is, until the shadows surrounding Raven seemed to deepen several times over. The pink haired girl couldn't help but shiver at the chilling effect the image offered.

 

“Betraying my trust isn't something I would recommend...”

 

“I was only teasing, I promise!” Jinx said with a nervous giggle, offering her hands to the other girl in surrender. “I accept.”

 

Again she was met with that piercing gaze and after a moment the shroud of darkness faded away.

 

“You won't regret this, Jinx,” Raven murmured as she stepped forward to form a single black cuff around one of the girl's wrists, forming the other half on one of her own and binding them with a chain of darkness. Jinx bit her lip nervously for a moment before reaching out and taking one of Raven's hands between hers.

 

“Thank you, Raven...”

 

“I'm just doing what's best.”

 

Jinx shook her head and smiled a sad smile.

 

“It's just... you're the first one that's ever really cared...”

 

–

 

Jinx smiled at the old familiar memory, the knowledge that Raven cared enough to try to save her still making her feel as warm and fuzzy now as it had a year ago. That, she realized, was when this whole thing had started. As she had adjusted to her new life there had been one thing missing that always nagged at her and it took a great deal of meditation and wandering thoughts to finally pinpoint what that was... Raven.

 

In the old days she had always thought the thrill of facing off against the empathic girl came from simple battle lust, but that had obviously been wrong. She had spent a lot of restless nights in bed or near the telephone, urging herself to give the girl a call so she could see her or even just hear her voice. She persevered though, committing herself to becoming a stable member of society like Raven had wanted before reappearing and stealing the girl's heart. It had been a wonderful goal and a heartwarming fantasy, one that had come so very close to coming true...

 

Her fingertips brushed across her lips once more, feeling a tingle throughout her body as the images she had seen returned. The painful realization that she would never have a place in Raven's life was heartbreaking but the news hadn't all been bad. There was some relief to be found in that she had always wondered if all the experiments she had undergone would have even left her able to conceive and she now knew that she could. Still though, it was little comfort for a girl that loved women and had been denied the one that could give her a child. The more she thought about it the more she felt like she should laugh at the idea of her becoming a mother... but she just couldn't bring herself to do it.

 

“I'm only seventeen, what the hell would I know about raising a kid? Hell, with me as her mom she's probably better off not even...” The first tear was alone in its journey down her cheek. “A child... our child...” Her hands went to her belly, an emptiness settling in her chest when she felt the absence of what her heart still told her should be there. The second and third tears made their journey together, each falling into the water below with a quiet _plip_.

 

“We would have been bumbling parents at first. Still so new to the whole thing but with enough love to make it work. I'd complain about you going off into danger all the time and you'd tell me not to worry but I always would anyways. Starfire would be there to cheer me up whenever we had an argument but they would never last very long because one look...” there were far too many tears to count now, “one look at our sweet little girl's face and nothing else would matter...” She buried her face in her hands and tried to cry out the misery that threatened to tear her heart in two...

 

–

 

**– _Starfire–_**

 

“Raven wishes to be with me! Raven wishes to love me!” Starfire crowed, spiraling with joy as she flew up the stairs.

 

The time spent meditating with Raven as well as what had occurred at the dance club had been eye opening experiences for the alien girl. The question of why she had always cared so much about Raven's happiness had finally been answered in full. The moment she had realized what she felt it had all started falling into place. The way they always protected one another more than what was needed. The way they always seemed to be there when the other needed someone. And most compelling of all... the way the White Raven had looked at her with such desperate longing when she had been sent into the future. All of it came together to paint a picture of love and devotion that she wished more than anything to be a part of.

 

_“Koriand'r...”_ She ground to a halt in her flight. The voice had been faint and weak in her mind but there could be no mistaking it.

 

“Raven! I must tell you that I...”Confusion, followed by a trickle of fear ran through her body as the link was severed and she found herself alone in her mind. She knew something was wrong, causing her to double her pace through the twisting halls towards the dark haired girl's room. Upon coming into sight of the room she saw that the door was open and slowed her speed considerably to keep from frightening the other girl with her arrival. “Raven, I have come to tell you that I...” she paused in her jubilation upon discovering that she was alone in Raven's room.

 

Chewing her lip nervously she checked the bathroom and found that it too was empty. Disappointment filled her as she realized that in her rush to clear up the misunderstanding she hadn't taken the time to consider where Raven might actually be.

 

“The one I wish to share myself with is in pain and I cannot even be at her side to give her the feel betters,” she murmured, the toes of her shoes dragging across the ground as she hovered over to the bed.

 

Guilty heartache consumed her with the knowledge that her own naivety had been the cause of Raven's pain. She lowered herself onto the girl's bed and clutched a pillow to her chest, catching a hint of the scent she had begun to associate with the dark haired girl as they continued to grow closer together. The comforting image of the two of them laying like this with Raven in her arms instead of the pillow floated dreamily through her mind.

 

“Raven,” she whispered as the image shifted, Raven's lips now lowering themselves upon her neck as she moaned with unrivaled pleasure.

 

Blushing, Starfire raised her fingers to touch the slightly bruised area where the real Raven had marked her neck. A sense of elation rushed through her body at the knowledge they had shared something so intimate. The realization of what she was thinking and of where she was doing it sent a rush of embarrassment through her and she rolled over quickly to hide her face in the blankets... only to have something hard poke against her stomach. With a yelp and an unladylike curse in Tamaranean she pushed away from the bed into the air, spiraling around to see the large book Raven had given to Cyborg resting on the bed against the wall. Embarrassed by the situation and the curse, she floated down to the bed and gathered the book into her lap, chewing nervously at her lip as she wondered what could possibly be written inside. The choice of whether or not to look was to be made for her, however, as the pages flashed with purple light and the book fell open in her lap. Swallowing nervously, she looked over the words that began to appear on the page.

 

So mesmerized was she by what she had discovered that she failed to notice the alarm had been sounded...

 

–

 

**– _Raven–_**

 

_I felt as if I'd stepped into another world, an odd mixture of haze and clarity consuming my senses. Sight, smell, touch, sound, and taste all seemed heightened to ridiculous levels and yet I still found the world around me to be... foggy. It was almost as if I were looking at my surroundings through a pane of frosted glass. In addition to these heightened senses I had grown more powerful in both body and in mind. I could feel my muscles constantly coiling and uncoiling in my limbs and my empathic senses were focused to a level I could have only dreamed of before. And yet, I had never felt so weak and pitiful in all my life..._

 

_This body was not a blessing but a punishment. I had been denied everything I could have wanted and willingly gave away that which could have been. Everything, it seemed, had been stacked against me from the very beginning with my own body at the forefront. Every decision I had made since setting my emotions free weighed so heavily on my mind. I had taken my freedom lightly and this would be how I was forced to atone for my carelessness. I had become ever more of that which had gotten me rejected, that which had condemned me to this twisted form. I was... unnatural._

 

_My only hope... was that I would be able to contain it..._

 

–

_**Out of control...** _

–

 

The alarm reverberated through the tower beneath me and within seconds, three forms were quickly approaching up the stairs. It took little more than a brief glance at the havoc I had wrought in the throws of my transformation to realize what had alerted those inside. Not wanting to be seen as I was, I summoned a long hooded cloak to cover myself just as the male Titans burst forth from the stairwell to confront the cause of the disturbance. It would be a simple matter of convincing them what had happened and then we could proceed to find the best way to prevent me from causing any harm.

 

“Titans, go!”

 

' _I really hate when he says that!'_ In tandem with the thought, my shadow extended outward like a bolt of black lightning, shooting upwards at Robin's head in the form of a thin black spike. _“No!”_ I shrieked within my mind, bringing the piercing blow to a halt barely an inch from his brow. With great effort I retracted the shadow back to my body and held my hands out in front of me, palms up in an offer of surrender.

 

“Why are you attacking us?! Who are you?!” Robin shouted, his voice somewhat shaky from the shock of near death.

 

_“I'm sorry! I can't control it!”_ I shouted, but no voice came from my lips.

 

The words were instead sent directly into their minds and with a surprising amount of force from the looks of their wincing. I could feel a great surge of panic building up in one of them and I prayed he wouldn't do something stupid.

 

“Dude! This thing nearly gave you a head piercing! I'm not waiting to hear what it wants!” Beast Boy shouted, transforming into hawk and darting up into the sky.

 

_“Don't do it, I'm begging you!”_ I pleaded but the metamorph paid me no heed, changing again into a snarling green tiger in an attempt to surprise me from above. _“You idiot!”_ I shrieked, a massive black claw rising from the ground to seize the beast from the air and hurl him into the doors of the stairwell. _“Stop fighting! I don't want to hurt you!”_ I sensed danger to the left and summoned a portal to capture the Sonic Boom Cyborg had just fired at me, opening a second portal in front of me to redirect the attack at Robin who was preparing to throw one of his explosive boomerangs. The sudden attack caught him off guard, forcing him to roll to the side into a snare I didn't remember placing. _“No more, please!_ ” I called out desperately, using all the willpower I could muster to keep the jaws of the trap from closing around him, just barely giving him enough time to spring free before the jagged black maw snapped shut.

 

Beast Boy, having reverted back to his human form, and Cyborg regrouped next to him.

 

“That's twice you could have finished me but held back, why? What do you want from us?” Robin panted, nerves shot from two brushes with death.

 

_“I told you I don't want to hurt you but I can't control myself! Why won't you listen to me?!”_

 

The anger in me was building quickly, the events leading up to my rejection from Starfire joining in to add to the frustration.

 

“I say we go formation three on its butt and take it out,” Beast Boy whispered loud enough for my enhanced senses to pick up.

 

The dam holding my anger back shattered.

 

_“No more fighting!”_ I roared, a wave of darkness rising from the ground to hurl them back against the wall of the stairwell and hold them there. _“If you'd just listen to me I could explain all of this! Can't you tell who I am? It's me, Ra...”_

 

Searing hot pain tore through my back and sent me stumbling forward.

 

“You chose a very poor time to attack us evil-doer, I am not in the mood of happiness!”

 

I managed to turn around just in time to catch a heavy blow to the jaw as Starfire descended from where she'd blasted me, sending me reeling back with enough force to shake loose my hood. Her charge died midway as she fell from the air, Star Bolts fading from her hands as the righteous anger vanished from her emotions.

 

_“Koriand'r...”_ my mental voice whispered, sending an odd chill through her aura. She turned away from me, disgust written all over her face. _“Have I become so ugly to you? So... unnatural?”_ I murmured as burning hot tears welled up to flow down my cheeks in four thick streams. Frustrated, I wiped them away with the back of one blood red hand. Her silence grated against my heart with every passing second. _“Answer me!”_ I shouted, causing her to flinch and clench her fists.

 

“It is not you that I see as ugly, it is me!” she shouted, turning to face me with heartfelt tears in her eyes. “It is I who is to blame for bringing so much hurt to one I wished only wondrous happiness to! The fault is mine that you are hurting and it brings much pain to my hearts!” She took a few wavering steps towards me, reaching out with one hand. “I have learned much from the magic book in your room about what has happened to you, Raven, and you do not have to be in this time of hurting alone. I wish to swear the life love with you and share your pain!” she shouted, pleading with her eyes.

 

_“Koriand'r... but... you rejected my love!”_ No matter how hard I tried to suppress it, the seething anger and misery her rejection had instilled in me would not be denied. _“You said I was unnatural and you were right! My lust for you consumed me Koriand'r, it still does even now! The mere sight of your bare skin and the faintest hint of your scent are enough to drive me wild! Is that what you want?! Some half-mad beast that insults your kind and loving nature with her every thought?!”_ I clutched at my head as if to rip the struggling emotions from within it. _“You do not love me, Koriand'r... you pity me!”_

 

Her aura flared up at those last words.

 

“That is not true! I have so much love for you that it brings me much pain to see you feeling so much hurt! I felt as though I was flying most joyously when you confessed you found me beautiful! I thought you wished to swear the life love with me but I did not understand your words! You must believe what I say is the truth!” she pleaded.

 

My breath caught in my throat as she poured her feelings into every word and I could sense no deception in them. The monster that had stemmed from my shattered confidence, however, would not be denied.

 

_“No... you don't love me! Look at me... I'm a monster!”_

 

Her eyes softened and she stepped forward once more.

 

“You are not a monster, Raven. You are a beautiful, wonderful, glorious female and I will help you see that as I promised. I said to you that I would stay at your side no matter what and a princess of Tamaran does not break a promise, even more so if it is made with one she loves!” The devotion in her words fell on my senses like a hammer blow, the misery and doubt were straining to remain in control but were quickly loosing ground. The demon inside me howled with rage and summoned the darkness around me in a last ditch effort to save itself. To my surprise, Starfire smiled as my body began to sink through the floor into the tower. “Wait for me and I will come to you,” she whispered, clutching a hand over her chest.

 

I could do nothing but reach out to her as the darkness enveloped me...

 

–

_**Descent...** _

–

_**-Starfire-** _

 

“You can't, Starfire, it's too dangerous!” Robin shouted.

 

Starfire shook her head and did her best to ease his worries with a smile.

 

“Raven will not hurt me... but I must go to her, even if it was not what she wished. The one I have chosen to share the life love with is hurting and I will not let that continue. I am sorry that you do not understand.” It looked like he wanted to say more but stopped himself and walked away.

 

Cyborg approached next and put his hand on her shoulder.

 

“You understand what she wants from you, right?” he asked uncomfortably.

 

She smiled at the machine man and patted his hand.

 

“It is what we both want, that has not changed with her new body. She is still Raven and Raven is the one that brings me the most warmth.”

 

“Just making sure. Be careful Star...” he said before removing his hand and moving to stand by Robin.

 

Beast Boy was next, rubbing the back of his head and grinning.

 

“So, you're totally going to go chick out with demon Raven?” he asked.

 

The alien girl seemed to ponder what he was saying for a moment before smiling and nodding.

 

“I believe it will be different from the images I saw on your computer monster, but yes, I wish to if she will accept me as her mate.”

 

His eyes went wide and he quickly walked over to the others, earning a hard slap to the back of the head from Cyborg and a disappointed glare from Robin. She gave them all a warm smile, grateful to have friends that cared so much for her safety, before turning away from them to gather the courage she would need before beginning her descent into the tower. The short flight through the hallways to Raven's room gave her little time to prepare herself for what was about to happen. A small part of her mind wished that she had accepted Terra's offer of trying sex with her as the practice would have been useful. It was only a small part though, the larger part was grateful that her first time would be in the arms of the one who brought her body the most warmth. The one that filled her with enough joy to fly for a thousand lifetimes.

 

_“Go away...”_ Raven's voice whispered into her mind.

 

There was so much bitter loneliness in the girl's words that it pained her to hear them, so much so that she felt the need to wrap her arms around herself for comfort. Raven was suffering and she knew that it was her responsibility to make that pain go away. Gathering all the willpower she had, Starfire raised her head and lowered her hands to her waist, balling them into fists.

 

“I will not! You will open this door and make the love with me as we both want or I will break it down myself!” Starfire shouted, glaring defiantly at the strip of metal that thought to keep her from Raven.

 

_“You don't mean that, Koriand'r, you saw what I look like, you saw what I almost did to the others. I'd never be able to forgive myself if I hurt you...”_

 

“I do not think you will hurt me, Raven, I come to share a most wondrous moment with you! One of great love and passions and joy! It will be...” she lifted up one hand to rest it against the cool metal of the doorway, a trickle of doubt entering into her mind, “I am certain it will...”

 

Just as her nerve was beginning to falter a flood of recent memories arose in the back of her mind. Memories of a desperate and frightened Raven calling for her and only her when she needed help, the flight to the mall where Raven could barely keep her eyes off of her, the meditation session that ended so intimately, and then at last the beautiful night spent at the dance club returned to remind her of the love and desire she held for her dark haired friend and chased away any doubts she might have had.

 

“It will be glorious!”

 

–

 

_To be continued..._

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Awakening**  
Chapter Five: Love and Love Lost

 

_In my nervousness, excitement, and anticipation I had forgotten the most basic rule of my being. Failing to control my emotions on the outside could be dangerous, failing to control them internally was borderline suicidal. If I had not forgotten so simple a rule this whole mess could have possibly been avoided. Then again, things probably wouldn't have ended the way they did had I remembered..._

 

**–**  
**Turmoil...**  
**–**

 

_**–**_ _**Raven–** _

 

“It will be glor...”

 

Starfire's words, so full of hope and conviction, faded away as I was pulled down into the inner workings of my mind. I looked around the high walled chamber with trepidation, as coming here on my own was enough to inspire caution. Being brought here against my will was something else entirely. A flicker of movement to one side was all the warning I was given before something, or rather, someone, crashed into me and wrapped its thin but deceptively strong arms around me and began to nuzzle its cheek against mine.

 

“Raven-chan! I missed you so muches!” a higher pitched version of my voice squealed happily.

 

I pushed the figure off of me to take in the pink cloaked version of myself, noting that my hands on her shoulders were their normal ash-gray color.

 

“Happy?! What the hell are you doing?!”

 

“Trying to hug my buddy, but she's being a meanie and holding me back!” she giggled. “Oh, and it's Joy now, a lot of us got kinda smooshed together lately.”

 

I fought back a groan and shook my head.

 

“No, I mean what are you doing, you know, out and around?”

 

She looked at me mischievously for a moment before responding.

 

“Will you let me hug you if I tell you?” she asked with a big cheesy grin.

 

I let out a sigh and nodded as I released her shoulders.

 

“Yay!” she squealed as she dove forward and wrapped me up in a crushing hug.

 

“Well?” I grunted impatiently.

 

“Oh fine, you old fuddy duddy, I'll tell you even though you should know already. You're the one that let us all out!”

 

“What?! No I didn't!”

 

“Sure did!” she shot right back. “When all of monster daddy's evil was gone you left the doors wide open! I don't know why you didn't gather us all up and put us in the right places, but it's been lots of fun spending time with everybody. There's even been a new friend to play with!” she said with a wide grin before pausing and tilting her head to one side. “Haven't you noticed how you've only been focused on one emotion or another most the time?”

 

It didn't take long for the implications to set in and suddenly everything that had happened since I'd torn down the walls around my emotions began to make a lot more sense.

 

“How could I have been so naive?” I whispered, my legs giving out to the point where Joy's embrace was the only thing keeping me standing.

 

“Hey now, don't feel bad! You didn't know, so it's not your fault! You were just acting on your base instincts... which means you're quite the little horndog judging by how popular Lust-chan has been lately,” she said with a sly wink. Even in my stunned state I couldn't help the blush that crept across my cheeks. “So cute!” she squealed, doubling her snuggling efforts. “Besides, I think you're forgetting the most important thing that's going on right now.”

 

“What's that?”

 

The giddy girl released me and took a step back to give me a warm smile and tapped me on the nose.

 

“Star-chan's realized she loves you to pieces!”

 

I couldn't have stopped the dopey grin from spreading across my face if I’d tried.

 

“Yeah, she does, doesn't she? Wait, no, this is still bad! She's waiting outside and I'm still all...”

 

“No changing that now, not until it's all worked out of your system, so to speak,” she said, giggling behind her hand.

 

I reached out and grabbed her by the shoulders.

 

“That's Star you're talking about!”

 

“Well I'm not saying we're going to do nothing you silly goose, it's no fun just standing around and most of us don't even want you to go all scary, ya know! Me and Clever-chan already tricked Rage-chan into a locked room that should hold her for a little while.”

 

“You guys did that for me?”

 

Joy giggled and beamed at me.

 

“For all of us, silly! It wouldn't be much fun if you were super scary all the time!”

 

“What do we do?”

 

“It's quite simple, really,” another voice said from behind me. I spun around to see a yellow cloaked and bespectacled Raven step into view. Joy ran over and attempted to dive-hug the new arrival who pushed her away with disinterest, receiving a stuck out tongue from the pink cloaked Raven. “I've reached an agreement with all of the rogue personalities. If their desires are fulfilled they'll go willingly into their proper place. Of course most of us won't require much convincing like Joy, myself, and Timid over there,” she said, pointing to a gray cloaked figure in the shadows that waved feebly upon being noticed before retreating further.

 

“Well why are we standing here talking? Let's...” the yellow cloaked Raven raised a hand to stop me and then used it to readjust her glasses.

 

“There is a minor complication. I take it that you're opposed to Koriand'r being uncontrollably ravaged by your demonic form?”

 

Anger flushed through my system.

 

“What the hell kind of question is that?! Of course I don't want that to happen! I'll die before I let that happen!” I shouted, a strong dislike of this Raven beginning to build.

 

From somewhere down the twisting halls behind her came an enraged scream.

 

“A simple yes would have sufficed,” she said snootily, peering uneasily over her shoulder.

 

It took a great amount of restraint to keep from wringing the neck of this Raven.

 

“She's no fun at all, is she?” Joy pouted from behind me.

 

“That's your department,” Clever said before turning towards me and giving me a scrutinizing look. “The only course of action we have available to us is to bring the core being of Starfire here through the Meditation Mirror and have her deal with the dissenting personalities while you try to contain your demonic from the outside.”

 

I shook my head.

 

“There's no way I'm putting Star into that type of--”

Again she raised up her hand to stop me, causing my eyebrow to twitch in frustration.

 

“If you could satisfy all of your own desires we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. You have to realize that if you don't become whole again you're not going to be able to control this new side of yourself. You saw how it was on the rooftop; you'll become a far greater threat to the people you're protecting than the villains you're protecting them from. Trust me, not only is this the only way we're going to get through this but it's also the best way to limit the damage done. End of story.”

 

My shoulders slumped.

 

“Who knew I could be such a pain in the... fine! I'll go talk to Star and see if she's willing to go through with this,” I muttered sullenly.

 

“We both know she will,” Clever started in that all knowing drawl of hers, “but just to make sure you don't say something stupid, I'll merge with you now,” she finished, floating towards me and putting her arms on my shoulders.

 

“See you on the inside, Clever-chan!” Joy shouted, waving happily as the yellow cloaked Raven fused into my body. The change was instantaneous, my panicky and jumbled thoughts becoming more manageable than I would have thought possible given the situation. “Alrighty! You should get going too, we don't have lots of time to play around unfortunately! Me and Timid-chan will be waiting to take super good care of Star-chan when she shows up!” the pink cloaked Raven announced happily as a shaky hand giving me a thumbs up appeared from the shadows.

 

“Thank you so much, all of you,” I said as I began slowly sinking into the floor and back into control of my body. “Oh, and Joy, what's with all the 'chan' stuff?”

 

She tilted her head and grinned.

 

“You don't like it? I thought it sounded fun!”

 

“It's annoying,” I muttered, now in up to my waist.

 

“Boo! Fine, but what about just for Star-chan? She's so cute I don't think I could help myself!”

 

I glared at her halfheartedly but sighed and nodded. The sight of her jumping up and down with glee the last thing I saw before the inner chambers of my mind dissolved away.

 

“Three... two...” Starfire's voice called out from the other side of the door.

 

Guessing her intentions, I opened the door with a flicker of thought to, sure enough, see the beautiful alien girl with one fist cocked back and ready to break the door down. The mere sight of her was enough to make my blood boil with desire, every fiber of my being straining to reach out and pull her body against mine.

 

_“Koriand'r...”_

 

_**–** _

_**–Starfire–** _

 

“One...” Starfire murmured, her voice trailing off as her eyes traveled up and down Raven's new body.

 

Swallowing hard over a newly formed lump in her throat, she lowered her arm and slowly floated forward into the room, gasping in surprise as the door slid shut behind her.

 

_“Koriand'r, I need to...”_

 

Starfire shook her head.

 

“You do not need to speak, I understand why this has happened to you,” she said, slipping off her shoes as she floated forward. “Over the many passings of years since we first joined in friendship my feelings for you have given me much of the confusion,” she continued, nervous fingers clutching at the hem of her shirt before pulling it up and over her head. She fought down the urge to cover herself as Raven's eyes, all four that her new form possessed, gazed hungrily at her exposed breasts. “But I am not the confused anymore!” she said with conviction.

 

Her eyes rose up to meet that hungry gaze and never left as she hooked her thumbs into the waistline of her skirt and tugged the material down and off her legs. Starfire could feel the anxiousness burning in the other girl as easily as she could feel her own, yet Raven seemed to wish to resist.

 

_“So beautiful! The image that has lingered in my thoughts for so long is finally before me, and yet I still...”_ Raven's voice whispered in her mind.

 

Starfire smiled a sad smile as she drew closer, reaching out with one hand to trail up the empath's blood red arm and across to the clasp of the cloak. In one swift motion she undid the binding and tore away the material, revealing the demoness in all her exotic glory. Starfire's breath caught in her throat as her eyes traveled up and down the well toned, beautifully sculpted body. The lean frame, coiled and taut muscles, fiery red skin, claw tipped fingers, and four piercing eyes all giving the girl such a predatory presence that she couldn't help but whimper as her eyes greedily drank in the exotic form before her. Her Tamaranean blood was pumping sheer exhilaration through her veins at the prospect of laying with such a powerful mate.

 

“Raven...” she whispered breathlessly as she drifted closer to the exotic predator. She reached out to intertwine her fingers with one of the girl's claw tipped hands. “Although I do very much wish my eyes were viewing the Raven that I have known and felt such wondrous love for all the years we have shared in friendship... I have the feelings that the making of love we are about to share will still be most pleasing for both of us.” She leaned in closer and pressed herself against her demonic lover's chest to listen to her erratic heartbeat. Starfire smiled to herself at the reaction she had always enjoyed in the numerous hugs she had given the dark haired girl. _“You are still my Raven,”_ she whispered into the back of her mind, certain that the other girl could hear it.

 

_“Koriand'r, do you trust me?”_ Raven's voice echoed in that familiar part of her mind. Starfire pulled away so Raven could see her smile and nodded. Raven freed her hand and reached out to her nightstand, a tendril of shadow reaching out to retrieve something from a drawer. _“I don't have time to explain, just know that it's the only way we're going to get through this.”_

 

Starfire nodded again, albeit nervously this time.

 

“I do not understand, but you have all the trusts my hearts can give!”

 

The demon girl smiled and brought up a free hand to caress her cheek.

 

_“I love you.”_

 

“As I love you,” Starfire whispered back, leaning up to kiss the girl but instead finding herself face to face with her own reflection. She peered curiously at her face in the mirror for a moment, feeling an odd tug in the back of her mind. “Raven? I feel most strange when I...”

 

The words came to a stop as the tug grew stronger. It was a peculiar feeling, almost like she was being lifted off her feet even though she could feel that they were still rooted to the ground. It only got stranger from there as her vision seemed to split, half of it peering at her surprised reflection, the other half gazing at a large, torch-lit chamber. She wanted to call out, to ask Raven what was happening to her but the pull was too strong, she felt herself being drawn down into that chamber which was so very strange a feeling because she knew that she was still standing in Raven's room. Just as quickly as the feelings had appeared they came to a sudden stop, Starfire's eyes coming to a close. In the back of her mind she could feel herself falling, but when she opened her eyes, she saw only desire...

 

_**–** _

_**–Jinx–** _

 

“Why? Why did it feel so wrong? We were happy!” she sobbed bitterly. “It wasn't perfect but it was ours, our future to make. It's not fair. It's not fair! It's not...” Her hands once again found their way to her belly, grasping at the empty air before clenching into fists. “I thought my luck had finally turned around when you walked into the store. Seeing you with Starfire, so receptive to the attentions of another woman.”

 

She wrapped her arms around herself, the comforting memories helping to ease the pain.

 

“You came back for me at the club. That kiss...” Once more she brushed her fingertips across her lips, feeling the now familiar tingle as she did. “Raven...” she murmured with a deep sigh of longing.

 

With a frown she realized that not only had this been the worst day of her life... but the bath water had gone cold while she had cried herself out.

 

She stood as if in a trance and, still dripping wet, and donned a bathrobe before shuffling into the living room of her small apartment. A part of her felt as if she should break down and cry again but she just couldn't manage it. The girl sighed as she looked around her tiny little apartment. While it wasn't much to look at it was hers, payed for with the money she had earned. The barest hint of a smile played at the corners of her lips; Raven had been right. At first she had been pretty bitter about the whole thing, not being able to simply take what she wanted was such a foreign concept to her. She had adjusted over time though; making a few friends, meeting a few girls at the club, and generally having a good time all things considered.

 

She ground her teeth in frustration as her hands unconsciously trailed once again to her now unfamiliar flat belly. Every stray thought of the dark haired sorceress dragged those wonderful yet painful memories through her mind. She forced herself into motion in hopes of keeping the depressing thoughts at bay; first straightening up what little she could around the apartment before lighting a few candles around the living room and making her way into the kitchen. Amid memories of her future self preparing a veritable feast in anticipation of Raven's return from a mission, Jinx made herself a small meal and ate in a depressive silence. She actually managed to smile at the idea that she could miss listening to Beast Boy and Cyborg cracking jokes, Robin's distrusting stares, and Starfire's idle chatter as she ate. Then again, Raven would have been sitting next to her with one hand resting on her leg or her swollen belly.

 

She stood from the table and walked away from the half eaten meal, all taste gone from the food...

 

_**–** _

_**–Raven–** _

 

_“Koriand'r? Are you...”_

 

The words faded from my mind as an unimaginably powerful wave of the redhead's desire washed over me. The alien girl raised her head and peered into me with eyes so full of pent up lust that it sent a thrill through my entire body. Starfire lifted from the ground and floated towards me, one hand coming up to rest between my breasts, and shoved me backwards onto the bed. Before the surprise could even register in my mind Starfire was on top of me and crushing our lips together. I closed my eyes, my hands coming up on reflex to caress the golden skin of her back before pulling her down tighter, the sensation of bare skin against bare skin working my mind into a fever pitch. Starfire pulled away from the kiss to look down at me with a hungry gleam in her eyes.

 

“You desire my scent, yes?” she asked in a throaty purr that still somehow managed to keep its familiar, innocent sounding nature.

 

Without waiting for a response, she buried her fingers into my hair and pulled my face up into the crook of her neck. A shudder passed through my body as I was bathed in her luxurious scent. I pressed my lips against her skin, kissing, sucking, and then nipping at the tender flesh as the tension began to build in my body. Starfire was so beautiful, so willing, and so unbelievably erotic! I had to have more. I had to make her mine. I rolled us over so that I was on top and bit down on her neck just hard enough to break the skin as the undeniable desire to mark her took over.

 

The alien girl let out a low, almost primal moan as my teeth pierced her flesh, her body writhing in pleasure beneath mine. Using the hands still buried in my hair she pulled my head away from her neck and kissed me, no doubt tasting the faint hint of her own blood on my lips. My rampant thoughts were flush with surprise for a moment before I remembered how passionate Starfire was in her daily life, something that would no doubt transfer into the bedroom. I pulled away from the kiss, raising up to a seated position across her hips to drink in the image of perfection that lay beneath me.

 

_“I've seen this so many times in my dreams,”_ I whispered into hr mind, delighting at the shiver that ran through her. _“Your splayed out hair like a halo of fire!”_ I trailed the tip of one sharpened nail through her hair, down to her shoulder and up across her collarbone to rest one palm flat against the rapid rise and fall of her chest. _“Your beautiful golden skin so full of warmth and power...”_

 

She was practically panting as I removed my hand and slid down her body so that I could kiss the skin between her breasts, feeling her hearts beating wildly against my lips. I pulled away and rose slightly so we were face to face.

 

_“Your eyes, so full of hope and love, like a gateway into your soul.”_ My hands came to rest at her sides, teasing the sensitive skin with the tips of my claws. _“You're like a warrior goddess and I the demon that seduced you!”_ I leaned down to place a kiss against her quivering lips as my hands slid across her body, one coming up to squeeze her breast, the other slipping down between her legs to cup her burning womanhood. _“And you're all mine...”_

 

_**–** _

_**–Jinx–**_

 

 

Resisting the urge to curl up into a ball and cry, Jinx shrugged off the bathrobe and stood nude amid the flickering candlelight of her living room. With a deep breath she began her physical meditations; a series of movements and stretches that would increase flexibility and draw in the energies she required to work her charms. She had barely gotten through the first set when the most peculiar sensation appeared in her chest. It was a feeling that happened so rarely that she barely even recognized it.

 

“Impossible...”

 

She was so distracted by the unfamiliar feeling that she nearly shrieked when three quick knocks were placed upon her door. She slipped back into her robe as she approached the door and placed her hand tentatively on the handle. The strange sensation intensified as she turned the knob, revealing the very last person she expected to see standing in her doorway.

 

“You?!” she shouted in disbelief.

 

Standing there, looking so nervous that Jinx thought she might bolt at any second, was the woman she had saved from the purse snatcher. A rumble of thunder rippled across the sky, followed by a few scattered droplets of rain.

 

“Can I come in?” the woman asked, nervously tucking a lock of dark brown hair behind her ear.

 

Jinx had to resist the urge to clutch at her chest as the overwhelming warmth that had been building seemed to burst. Despite her surprise, she couldn’t help but smile; the rare flip side of her powers manifesting as absolute good fortune coursing through her body.

 

“Uh... sure,” she said, stepping aside so the woman could enter. Jinx closed the door behind them, using the chance to look the new arrival up and down while her back was turned. The woman was obviously nervous about being here, but there was something else about her that Jinx couldn't quite place. “So,” she said suddenly, startling the woman enough to let out a small gasp, “what brings you to my painfully humble abode?”

 

“Well, I don't really know to be honest,” she said as she turned around. Jinx noticed that her hands were nervously clasping at the hem of her overcoat. “You'll probably think I'm crazy but it's the strangest thing!”

 

Jinx smiled and motioned to the sofa with a hand, the woman nodded and sat down rigidly on the edge of the cushion.

 

“I'm all ears,” she said smoothly, her calm being fueled by the rare surge of good vibes.

 

“Well, the day that you helped me... it was the luckiest day of my life!”

 

Jinx couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her lips.

 

“Sorry, it's just that normally it's the exact opposite,” she explained upon seeing her visitor's curious expression. “Go on.”

 

“Well, after you left I felt this odd kind of tingle in my stomach that I couldn't quite place. When I got to work it was like everything was going my way. My lazy ass boss had been fired and they wanted me to take up the position. My mom called to tell me my dad had recovered and was going to be let out of the hospital. I was even able to go home early around lunch time so I could celebrate!” an odd little smile formed on her lips. “And when I got home I found my boyfriend in bed with one of our neighbors.”

 

“That doesn't sound too lucky if you ask me,” Jinx said, quirking one eyebrow.

 

“That's the thing though, I felt so relieved! I didn't have to be so suspicious anymore, it was like dropping a bad habit or something. After I left I went for a walk and saw a woman putting up a sign for a fully furnished condo that's nicer, cheaper, and even closer to my office. After that I had the best dinner I’ve ever eaten at a nearby restaurant and adopted the cutest little kitten that was being given away for free by a girl in the neighborhood. It was like I couldn't lose! And all through the day I couldn't stop thinking about you and the offer you made me. Every night since then has just been...”

 

Her voice trailed off, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of her lips before she shook her head slightly as if to clear it.

 

“God, I don't even know your name! I went back to where you'd helped me and started asking around about you. Luckily someone had seen you come out of this complex a few times.” She cast her eyes downward shyly. “My name's Julia by the way and I'm sorry about all this, I must sound crazy!”

 

“It's Jinx,” the pink haired girl said with a smile as she offered the woman her hand, “and trust me, you're not crazy...”

 

_–_

 

_To be continued..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first posting after a long hiatus. Please let me know what you think!


	6. Chapter 6

**Awakening**  
Chapter 6: Inner Demons

 

_The passionate union of fire goddess and shadow demon was unlike anything either of us would ever experience again. My heightened senses drank in every sensation my body was experiencing, thirsting for more. A thirst that was quenched and renewed again by every flick of Starfire's tongue, every caress and thrust of her fingers. The empathic link formed between us only served to heighten the passion we shared, bonding us as one mind, body, and soul so perfectly that I could feel every bit of her pleasure, and she mine. It truly was glorious._

 

_And yet, while the raw, primal love making was a sight to behold, something far more critical to Koriand'r and I's future was happening within the inner reaches of my mind. I could only hope that Starfire would be safe, and still be willing to be with me after seeing just how broken I was inside..._

  
**_–_ **  
**_Into the Depths..._ **  
**_–_ **

**_–Starfire–_ **

 

“Star-chan!” Raven, a very different and pink-cloaked Raven, shouted, leaping towards her suddenly with arms outstretched. Starfire darted back out of range and a disappointed look appeared on the odd Raven's face as she hit the ground with a solid thump. “Boo! I thought you of all people would welcome tackle hugs!”

 

“What is happening? I feel as if I have been pulled into pieces! I can see this place and...” within her mind she could feel Raven's lips press down between her breasts, savoring the thrill of the furiously beating hearts beneath her skin.

 

Starfire felt herself go weak in the knees. The pink cloaked Raven floated up in front of her and grinned.

 

“And the other part having all kinds of fun on the outside?” Pink Raven asked with a knowing giggle. Starfire whimpered and nodded. “It was the mirror; it brought part of your mind inside of Raven so you can help us fix her! I’m Raven's joy, by the way, and I super duper wanna hug you right now! If that's okay?”

 

Starfire, still confused, couldn't help but be taken in by this bubbly Raven and nodded.

 

“Yay!” Joy shouted, diving forward once again to wrap her arms around Starfire's neck and nuzzle her cheek to the alien girl's. “You have no idea how important you've made me feel recently! I was so lonely before you came into her life!”

 

Starfire smiled and returned the hug briefly before tugging at the overly friendly Raven so she could look her in the eyes.

 

“You said I am here to fix her? I do not understand.”

 

“Hmm,” Joy murmured, biting her lip in puzzlement, an expression Starfire would very much love to see on her Raven's face. “Kinda wish Clever was still around for this... well, let's just say that her emotions aren't supposed to be able to walk around like I am now. Raven broke us all free when she stopped Monster Daddy and never put us back in the right place. We've all just kinda been doing whatever we want, which is why Raven has been such an adorable mess lately!”

 

“I... think that I understand.”

 

“Yay!” Joy cheered, returning for more nuzzling before pulling away. “Most of us are fine with going back into our normal spots, but a few others, well, that's why you're here! We need you to convince them.”

 

“And if I do this, I will have my old Raven back?!” Starfire asked, excitement filling her at the thought. For the first time since her arrival, the pink-cloaked Raven's smile was not full of warmth. “What is wrong?”

 

“I was kinda hoping you wouldn't ask that because we don't really know what will happen, this is all new to us, too!” she said, then brightened when she noticed Starfire's crestfallen look. “But at the very least it will probably make the scary Demon Raven go away! That's good, right?”

 

Starfire started to agree but the words devolved into a sensuous moan. Her knees gave out as the image of Raven's face descending between her legs flashed through her mind, followed by waves of pleasure. Joy seemed to be glowing under the new sensation and Starfire could hear a pleased whimper from the shadows behind her. The grin on Joy's face managed to spread even wider.

 

“Oh wow, the new tongue is super long and flexible... maybe there's a way to keep it if she changes back?” she questioned, giggling mischievously.

 

Starfire rose to her feet, blushing furiously and trying to keep her knees from trembling.

 

“I think I understand what I am to do,” she said, trying her best to hide the embarrassment this odd Raven's words filled her with. “Where are the Ravens that I must speak to?”

 

The pink-cloaked Raven floated over to her side and took one of Starfire's arms, in much the same way Starfire herself would often do to Raven when they were together, and tugged her toward a winding corridor.

 

“If you had come inside yesterday you would have had a lot more work to do, but a bunch of the emotions have kinda smooshed together to form new ones.”

 

“Is that bad?” Starfire asked, worried.

 

Joy giggled.

 

“I think it happens normally and it can't always be bad. After all, I was made when Happy and Pleasure came together. And it's all because of you!” she squealed, squeezing tight to Starfire's arm. “Though, with Rage, well... she was still Rage the last time I saw her. It might not be so good. A lot of the not-nice emotions were stirring about, so be careful!”

 

They walked in silence for a bit. Every so often Starfire would need to steady herself, when the rush of pleasure became too much to bear. After a while she noticed Joy looking around and biting her lip.

 

“What is wrong, Joy of my Raven?”

 

“We should have found Sad and Lonely by now, they were hanging around here earlier making each other miserable.”

 

“Perhaps they also did the smooshing of togetherness you spoke of?”

 

“Hmm, I don't-” The words died on her lips as a thin spike of darkness shot out from the shadows and pierced her heart.

 

_**–** _

 

_**–Jinx–** _

 

“So, you're a criminal?” Julia asked, clutching apprehensively at the hem of her overcoat.

 

Jinx smiled and sipped her tea, reveling a bit at the influence her former lifestyle still had on people. She wasn't entirely sure why she had done so, but her fortune-charged gut feeling told her that telling Julia her story was the right thing to do. The pretty young woman had taken it all in better than most would have, but given the string of good luck she'd happened upon that wasn't too surprising.

 

“Reformed criminal,” Jinx corrected, “I've severed my ties with the New Brotherhood and, for the most part, they've respected my choice.”

 

Her smile faltered a bit at that. While it was true that most of her old family was relieved to see their sister get away from the dangerous lifestyle, she also didn't get to see them nearly as much as she wanted. She'd tried to convince them to get out as well, but they hadn't found the motivation she had just quite yet. This thought seized on her mind and she had to actively keep herself from frowning. The idea that the one she had given up everything to be with was all cozy with some other woman wasn't exactly the happiest of thoughts.

 

“I see,” Julia murmured, shifting in her seat.

 

Jinx looked at her, bemused.

 

“There's no need to be so nervous, hon, I was never that bad of a girl,” she said with a wink.

 

“It's not that. I'm just a little embarrassed, barging into your place like this when you don't even know me. I just... I couldn't stop thinking about the offer you made me. It seemed like it was so easy for you, but at the same time it was so genuine. It's never been like that for me. Even the most simple intimacy has always been such a hassle, like I'm always doing the wrong thing or something and I'm sick of it. That's why... that's why I decided that when I found where you lived I'd stop dancing around myself and do something about it!”

 

With that, Julia stood and removed her overcoat to reveal one of the sexiest sets of black lingerie Jinx had ever seen. She had just enough restraint to keep from spitting out her tea in surprise. The first thing she noticed, once the surprise settled, was that the clothes Julia had been wearing when they'd first met had absolutely done her no justice. The girl was a knockout.  


The second: just how depressing her reaction was to the divinely feminine form and the offer that came with it. Sure, she'd taken quite a few women into her bed since realizing her love for the dark haired sorceress, but that was little more than service to the needs of her body. She'd made sure that every one of those girls had known that. If she were to make love to Julia it would mean something and she just couldn't bring herself to do that to either of them. With a deep sigh she sat down her tea and stood slowly to meet the young woman's eyes.

 

“You're absolutely stunning, Julia...” Jinx said, trailing off sadly.

 

“I feel like there's a big 'but' coming,” Julia said, averting her eyes. “God, I'm such an idiot!” she shouted, hurriedly putting her overcoat back on and pulling it closed.

 

“No!” Jinx said forcefully, stepping over to take the woman's hands and placing them at her sides. She reached out and opened up the folds of the coat and gave the woman an admiring up and down look. “At any other time in my life, I would have shown you a night you would never... ever forget.” The vision flashed in her mind, Raven leaning down to kiss her pregnant belly, and the tears came too quickly for her to hold back. “But I just had my heart broken and it wouldn't be fair to either of us!” she whimpered.

 

Julia's eyes softened as she pulled the crying girl into her arms and held her as she poured out her soul.

 

_**–** _

 

_**–Starfire–** _

 

Moving on instinct, she fired a burst of Star Bolts into the darkness, one arm clutching the slumped form of the pink-cloaked Raven. The black spike retracted under the assault, giving Starfire the chance to carry Joy into a small side chamber.

 

“My Raven's Joy, are you still alive?” She asked, worried tears forming in her eyes as she pulled back the hood.

 

Joy was still smiling, but it was pained.

 

“Heh, Rage must be really full of herself if she thinks I'm still weak enough to be destroyed like that,” she said, reaching up to caress Starfire's cheek. “It's all because of you, Star-chan! Ysou're my reason for being! You bring so much Joy to Raven's life.”

 

Starfire put her hand over the pink-cloaked Raven's and smiled, leaning down to place a kiss on the focusing crystal in the girl's forehead.

 

“And I will continue to do so for a lifetime. You rest here, friend Joy of my Raven, I will take care of this,” she said, standing and charging her hands with righteous anger before flying back out into the main chamber. Standing in the middle of the room was a red-cloaked Raven, four glowing red eyes peering out from beneath the hood. “You are the anger of my Raven, yes?”

 

The figure let out a cruel chuckle.

 

“The Demon transformation has allowed me to go beyond simple Anger, beyond Rage. I am Fury! And you, Starfire, with your precious alien ignorance, are the biggest source of my power!” Starfire felt her own anger swell and a pain in her hearts form at these words. Her misunderstanding of Raven's feelings had caused the one she loved so much hurt. The Raven in front of her seemed to sense what she was feeling and laughed. “That's right, wallow in the self-pity like you always do. Hell, why not just up and run away? It's what you seem to do best!”

 

The words were hurtful, even more so because she knew that they came from the deep, subconscious thoughts of her Raven. There was something wrong with them, though. She wasn't sure how, but she knew it. Starfire felt her anger slipping away and the power faded from her hands.

 

“I am sorry,” she murmured, taking a few slow steps towards the figure.

 

“You're sorry? Do you honestly think that makes it better?!” Fury seethed.

 

Starfire shook her head, smiling sadly at the red-cloaked Raven.

 

“I know it does not. Because I did not understand, Raven is hurting and afraid. All I can do is say that I am sorry, and that I will never leave her,” she said, approaching on shaky legs.

 

“Saying you're sorry won't fix anything, the damage has already been done!”

 

Starfire shook her head.

 

“My Raven is not so weak to be defeated by this.” Starfire felt her body tingle with pleasure as the lovemaking intensified and smiled. “After this time of demon mating has passed, my Raven's anger will sleep once more. I will be there for her always, to heal the pain in her heart.”

 

“Her anger will not sleep! I _am_ her anger! Her _pain_! Her _hatred_ made manifest! I will grow stronger! I will-”

 

“No, you are not,” Starfire said, stopping her approach within arms distance of the red-cloaked Raven. “I have seen my Raven's anger many times. I feel it now in her rough touch as we make love.”

 

“You...”

 

“I have learned much from the magic book. I knew the Demon Raven would release her anger on my body and I take its uncontrolled passion with arms of openness! I am a Princess of Tamaran, I am also not weak!”

 

“This isn't how it's supposed to be!” The red-cloaked Raven wailed, shuddering as it began to shrink in on itself until a thin, frail looking figure in black robes stood before her. “I am her Sadness, her Loneliness, her Depression... I am Misery... and I will also share myself with you!”

 

Starfire reached out with trembling fingers to push back the hood of this Raven to reveal the smirking face of Jinx.

 

“Hey, hon!”

 

“J-Jinx?” Starfire said, reeling back in surprise.

 

“Aww, don't be so surprised. You should have known I wouldn't give up so easily, we're rivals in love, after all!”

 

“You... you are not Jinx, please stop this,” Starfire said uneasily, trying to fight down her own surge of anger at the sight of the pink haired witch.

 

“No, but what better way to tell you what happened after you broke Raven's heart on that rooftop? Oh, she came running back to me, practically drooling to get into my panties! If I'd let her she would have had her way with me right there on the dance floor!”

 

“Stop it!” Starfire shouted, covering her ears with her hands.

 

“Oh princess, you don't want to listen? How about I just show you then?!” she shouted, lunging forward and pressing their lips together.

 

The scene replayed itself in Starfire's mind, experiencing every feeling and emotion that Raven had felt as if it were her own. The growing lust as she watched Jinx dance, the satisfaction of seeing her desires accepted so hungrily. The passion of the kiss and the promise it contained. The vision of the future, so bittersweet. She could not stop the tears from flowing, even if she wanted to. She was silent for a long while after the false Jinx pulled away.

 

“Thank you,” Starfire whispered, wiping the smug smirk off the witch's face. “Your kiss has shown me a part of my Raven that I never would have seen. You have given me another thing that I must apologize for.”

 

“You... can't be serious!” Jinx said, face twisting with so many emotions that Starfire couldn't keep track of them all. “You just saw that she loves another woman almost as much as she loves you and you want to apologize for it?!”

 

Starfire smiled sadly and shook her head.

 

“Not to my Raven, but to Jinx. Her feelings of hurting must be so horrible right now. To have the one she loves most come to her and be taken away in the same moment... it hurts my hearts too much to not try and make it better!”

 

“You... you...” she slumped to her knees and pulled the hood over her head. “I give up,” she said, her voice Raven's once more.

 

“You will return to where you belong?” Starfire asked, hope in her words.

 

The black-cloaked Raven let out a cold laugh.

 

“Oh, sweet innocent Starfire. Do you really think you can wipe away a lifetime of loneliness so easily? You have a long road ahead of you, and it's probably not going to be like anything you've imagined. Real life doesn't have perfect happy endings. Will you be able to make the sacrifice to become what she needs? Or will you fail and feed her Misery until I consume her completely? I'll be watching, Starfire,” she said, sinking into the floor.

 

Starfire stood in silence for a long while, trying to understand the meaning behind the sad Raven's words. Eventually, Joy approached and nudged her with an elbow.

 

“Even though I want you to stay so I can give you lots and lots more hugs, it's almost time for you to go.”

 

“Yes,” Starfire said, placing her hands on her stomach, “our lovemaking is coming to an end, I can feel a warmth in here dancing like sunlight.”

 

“Oh? Think you might get a little baby Raven out of all this?!” she asked excitedly.

 

Starfire turned and smiled at her.

 

“I do not know, the magic book said that the chances were very low, but I will be happy with my Raven whether or not I carry her child.”

 

“Are you worried about what Misery said?” Starfire nodded, then gasped in surprise as she felt herself sinking into the floor as Misery had done. “Time for you to go, Star-chan,” Joy said, waving happily. “Thank you so much for everything!”

 

Starfire, unable to wave back, gave the pink-cloaked Raven her brightest smile as the darkness enveloped her.

 

_**–** _

 

_**–Raven–** _

 

My eyes opened to a wonderful view of Starfire's collarbone and the graceful curve of her neck. I could feel her arms around me, holding me close. Curious, I tried to bring up one of my hands to see what it looked like but received a reassuring squeeze from Starfire.

 

“Do not worry, you are my Raven once more, but I am not finished holding you, one I love most. Be still and lay with me.” she said, her voice hazy and dreamlike from what I assumed was sheer bliss.

 

I smiled and nuzzled in close, relishing in the warmth of her beautiful golden skin, content to bask in the afterglow of our lovemaking. I must have drifted off again, because the next time I opened my eyes I was greeted with the sight of a still nude Starfire stretching languidly on the bed next to me.

 

“So beautiful,” I whispered. She did not stop in her stretching, but a wide grin appeared on her face. I noticed a pair of teeth marks on her shoulder and gently reached out to circle it with my fingertips. “I hope I didn't hurt you too much.”

 

Finishing with her stretch, she reached out to press a finger to my lips.

 

“It was glorious in it's passion and intensity, my Raven. They will sing songs of our lovemaking on Tamaran someday,” she said, leaning over to place a kiss on my focusing crystal.

 

I wasn't quite sure how I felt about that, but I took the hint to drop the subject. After a stretch of my own, revealing that the fiery princess had left her own signs of 'passion and intensity', I gathered myself up and sat cross-legged on the bed. Starfire did the same, looking at me with such love and adoration that it was hard to hold her gaze without embarrassment. We held an unspoken conversation for some time, thoughts and feelings passing freely between us. Her emerald eyes were shimmering with unrestrained glee by the time I felt my lips forming the words.

 

“You mentioned swearing a life love with me before, how exactly do we do that? Because I can't imagine wanting anything more in the world right now.”

 

Unable to contain herself any longer, Starfire dove forward and crushed our lips together. Our bodies seemed to meld into one and the room around us slowly slipped away. Nothing would ever be the same again...

 

_**–** _  
_**Bitter...** _  
_**–** _

 

“Raven, we lost her again...” Her words echoed in the back of my mind, and my heart broke all over again as I remembered the loss through our connected emotions.

 

Starfire looked at me with those beautiful emerald eyes so full of love. Love and sadness. She shook her head.

 

“I am sorry, one I love most. I swore to be with you forever and I always will, but not this one night. I cannot. Never again.”

 

I nodded, wanting so much to wrap my arms around her trembling shoulders and comfort her, but I couldn't trust myself to do it. The Demon blood was pumping too strongly in my veins.

 

“I don't want to,” I whispered, the words felt hollow.

 

“I know, but you do not have a choice. I... I have already called and asked if she would,” she said, all but choking on the words. I took a step forward, but she stopped me with a look. “I already feel that I am a failure as a wife and a friend. Please, do not say anything. Just go, return to me when you are my Raven again!”

 

Painfully, I wrenched my eyes away and summoned the portal that would take me into the arms of another woman, our closest friend. Fifteen wonderful years together with Starfire. Three miracle pregnancies... zero births. I couldn't blame her for not wanting to go through that again.

 

“I'm guessing that's you, hon, come on in when you're ready,” a voice called from the other room.

 

I took a moment to look over the pictures on the walls. The three of us together over the years, with an occasional fourth here and there. They never stuck around for long. I smiled a sad smile and made my way to the bedroom, opening the door to find Jinx, nude and splayed out on the bed.

 

“Y'know, for a second I was tempted to throw on something sexy and light a few candles to get back at you for all this,” she murmured, voice slightly slurred. “But then I remembered how fucking shitty this all is and how much I love you guys, so I just drank a bottle of wine instead, to forget.” She laughed bitterly. “Fat chance of that. C'mon, hon, let's just get this over with.”

 

I never hated my demonic nature more than at this moment. Even though this was utterly heartbreaking for all three of us, the demon blood in my veins was thrilling at the spicy scent of the woman laid out before me. With a heavy heart, I approached the bed.

 

**–**

 

I reeled back from the kiss, the vision burning itself into the back of my mind.

 

“No! That can't be!”

 

“Raven...” Starfire whimpered.

 

I turned away, lashing out with a wave of darkness, lifting and crushing the small writing desk next to my bed into splinters.

 

“I thought I was finally done with being haunted by visions of the future! Why am I destined for such an existence no matter who...” I paused, a wave of guilt washing over me. I turned and took Starfire's hands in mine. “I should tell you, I don't want there to be anything between us. After I left you on the rooftop I-” she shushed me with a shake of her head.

 

“I know, the sad Raven inside of you showed me the vision you saw with Jinx to try and hurt me. I do not blame you, one I love most. I do not care for you any less.”

 

I stared at her in wonderment for a long time, wondering if she would ever stop amazing me.

 

“What are we supposed to do, Koriand'r?”

 

Something shifted in that emerald gaze, a determination that I had only seen a few times before. She stood, then walked over to the window to throw it wide open.

 

“I must leave you for now,” she said, my heart sinking at the words. “Do not worry, one I love most. I will return to you and we will be together for a most wonderful new future. It will be glorious!”

 

With that, she leaped out the window and into the night sky.

 

_**–** _

 

_**–Jinx–** _

 

Julia had gone with Jinx's thanks and a promise that they'd stay in touch. The pink haired witch had been heading to a dark place, but by the rare gift of fortune someone had appeared in her life to help her come to terms with it. It was a favor she was determined to repay. She already had someone in mind to introduce her new friend to. After all, everybody deserved their chance at happiness.

 

“Maybe even me,” she whispered to the empty apartment.

 

The sense of relief gained from her cry in Julia's arms had brought a great deal of ease to her mind. Not even the sudden presence outside of her door could rattle her good mood. At least, not until she opened it and saw the absolute last person she expected to see this night.

 

“I really didn't figure you for the gloating type, Starfire. Showing up at my door with your magnificent post-bliss glow like some kind of freaking golden sex goddess,” she muttered, and though the words were meant to be scathing she knew she would have to put in some effort to keep this image from popping into her mind the next time she was taking care of herself. Starfire, with her mane of fiery hair whipping in the wind, back-lit by a distant bolt of lightning to display every inch of her golden-skinned body was truly a sight to see. Jinx bit her lip to focus. “Go on then, let's hear all about how wonderful it...”

 

Starfire landed in front of her, and at the very moment their eyes met, whether it had simply run its course or if this new development was too much for even it to overcome, the warm glow of her fortune powers faded away. The pain in Starfire's eyes was one that she understood down to the very core of her being. One that the two of them apparently shared.

 

“Jinx,” Starfire said, voice barely audible over the coming storm, “we need to talk...”

 

_–_  
_To be continued..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting close to the end! One more to go and maybe an Epilogue for a little peak into the future ^ _ ^


	7. Bonds

**Awakening**

Chapter Seven: Bonds

 

_I found it strange that, at the same time, I could feel a sense of relief while also feeling so torn up inside that it seemed as if the whole world was crumbling around me. Granted, I’m not the most experienced person when it came to strong emotions, but I was pretty sure this wasn't normal. Though I couldn't begin to try and understand them, the fact was not lost on me that I could now see them for what they were. I was slave to them no longer._

_Starfire had set me free..._

 

_**~** _  
_**Slow burn...** _  
_**~** _

 

**-**

**–Jinx–**

 

Her words were heavy. The Starfire in front of me was not the bubbly little princess that irked me in ways I couldn't understand. No, this was the radiant, golden warrior that I deeply respected. Respected, again, in ways I couldn't understand. Slowly, the twinge of heartache from my initial assumptions faded and I stepped back inside, motioning for the alien girl to follow.

 

“Come inside, we can talk.” Starfire nodded and descended to the walkway to follow me in. I closed the door and took my time with the lock, resting my head against the wood while trying to gather up the willpower to deal with the oncoming emotional roller coaster.

 

“Was it my fault?” I asked, unwilling to turn around and meet her emerald gaze.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

I sighed.

 

“I'm guessing you got a little peek into the future too, right? Was it my fault that the two of you weren't happy?” I asked, feeling pathetic at the wavering bit of hope in my voice. “Did she still have feelings for me or something?”

 

Starfire was quiet for a long while before answering.

 

“No.”

 

Goddess, that hurt more than I would ever admit.

 

“In the future I saw we were the best of friends forever,” Starfire clarified.

 

I couldn't help the little snort of laughter. The idea of being BFF's with Starfire almost as ridiculous as the way she'd said it.

 

“You've got to be kidding me.” I said.

 

“I am not!” she said, voice raising with indignation. “You were our dearest friend and helped us during a most terrible time. It was my fault. I...”

 

My stomach lurched as my own heartrending glimpse into the future returned, unbidden, to my thoughts. I knew exactly what Starfire was feeling and I couldn't help but sympathize with her, despite my dislike of the alien girl.

 

“It hurts,” I whispered, cradling my childless belly.

 

I could feel a warmth radiating from her. It took me a moment to realize what it was. Compassion.

 

“I saw your future inside of Raven's mind.” Starfire said, “In my hearts I understand the loss that you are feeling.”

 

Anger blossomed in the pit of my stomach at such a casual revelation of the invasion of something so deeply private.

 

“I am sorry, friend Jinx,” she continued, “it was forced upon me without my choosing. I wish for you to know of my future as well, so that you too may understand my feelings, but it is too painful for words. I would much prefer to show you.”

 

I gritted my teeth, fighting the boiling anger down to a low simmer. I had no idea what circumstances led to her seeing my vision, but Starfire was simply incapable of lying. She hadn't done it on purpose and didn't deserve me lashing out about it.

 

I sighed, and turned to face her.

 

“And just how the hell are-”

 

She kissed me. She kissed me with a passion and purpose that I would have thought impossible for someone facing such emotional turmoil. Weakened as I was by my own shambled mess of a mental state, I couldn't stop the instinctual response of my body. My hands came up to grip her sides as I leaned into the kiss. It was like her tongue was pumping pure liquid desire into my mouth. I felt my entire body flush with sudden arousal for the alien princess. I couldn't tell you how long the kiss lasted before the little voice in the back of my mind finally woke up and slapped some sense into the rest of me. I lurched forward, the motion sluggish, as the hands that had been climbing up to her ample breasts shoved her away. Seemingly as addled as I was, Starfire stumbled back and fell flat on her ass. She looked at me, confused.

 

“What?! What the hell was that? Why would you kiss me?” I groaned, sickened by my body's response to the contact.

 

“I... I thought that you would be able to see the future that I did through a kiss. Like with Raven and the image of you inside of her mind.”

 

I stared at her, dumbfounded.

 

“That only happened because of Raven's magic, why the hell did you think that would work between us?! And what image of me inside her mind?” I asked, irritable, forcefully averting my eyes from the nibble marks trailing up the insides of her thighs.

 

Starfire started to speak, then stopped. The faraway look in her eyes as she relived her own vision was easy to recognize. All at once she collapsed into heartbroken sobs. I rubbed my temples. The whole situation, combined with my now thrice denied sexual frustration, was beginning to settle into a nasty headache.

 

Feeling utterly exhausted, I stumbled over to the kitchen and put the kettle back on the stove before making my way to the linen closet and retrieving a spare blanket. I half-helped, half-dragged the sobbing mess of a girl over to the sofa and wrapped her in the blanket. I returned to the kitchen to wait for the water to boil, and hopefully for Starfire to settle down. A few minutes later, two mugs of tea in hand, I approached the still trembling girl and pressed one into her hands.

 

“Drink up, it'll help calm you down a little.”

 

She nodded, sniffled, and took a sip, instant disgust appearing on her face.

 

“It tastes of the board of cards.”

 

The momentary flash of irritation was quickly replaced as the Starfire-speak translated into proper words, the image of her taking a large bite out of a piece of cardboard flashing through my mind. The exhaustion mixed with the absurdity of it all and I found myself laughing. After a while Starfire joined in, spurring my own laughter on into deep belly chuckles. We continued like that for several minutes before the weight of it all became too much to bear. Leaning against one another for the comfort neither of us would have admitted we needed, we cried until we fell asleep.

 

 

**–**

**–Raven–**

 

 

“You’re being surprisingly calm about this,” Robin said, the barest hint of accusation in his voice. I’ve heard it so many times beneath his words that I had to wonder if he even realized it was there. “Considering...”

 

I didn’t open my eyes or speak as I hovered above the tower in meditation. It was surprisingly hard to maintain. The wonderful sensation of mirth bubbled to the surface, causing the corners of my mouth to raise almost imperceptibly. Such wonderful and exciting things I’d been able to truly feel in the month since Starfire ended the emotional war within me. I could sense Robin shift his weight slightly and decided I’d teased him long enough.

 

“Starfire told me she’d return to me and that everything would be glorious.” A full, perhaps even radiant, smile appeared on my face at the memory. I couldn’t have prevented its spread if I tried. I couldn’t imagine ever wanting to do so. “I trust her.”

 

“Even so, it’d still be nice if we knew where she was so we could at least make sure she was okay.”

 

My smile faltered and I finally opened my eyes, regarding him. He was standing straight-backed and was clearly uncomfortable, causing me to ponder if he was somehow even less experienced in romance than I was. I turned away from him and looked to the city, a hint of concern clouding over my cheer.

 

“I know where she is. I trust that she knows what she’s doing. Though, for the life of me I can't understand why she would go there. Maybe, just maybe... they won’t kill each other.”

 

 

**-**

**-Starfire-**

 

“Get out!” Jinx bellowed, one hand attempting to cover herself while shaking the brush of toilets at me with the other.

 

“I will not! The Best Friends Forever are supposed to accompany each other to expel waste from their bodies. It is tradition!”

 

“I’m not your Goddess-damned BFF! I don’t even like you! You suck! I’ve never been a ‘tee-hee lets go pee’ girl and I never will. So piss off!”

 

“I believe it is you that is supposed to be doing the pi-” Starfire hurriedly ducked behind the door with a squeak as Jinx let out a roar of supreme rage and hurled the brush of toilets at her. Starfire giggled mischievously and peeked around the door. “You are most adorable when you are trying so hard to be angrier at me than you feel!” she said in a teasing, sing-and-song way that always got a joyous reaction from her host and best friend forever.

 

Jinx balled her hands into fists and took several deep breaths.

 

“Look, bitchcess,” Jinx said through clenched teeth. I’ve put up with a lot of your bullshit these past two months. The invasions, no, the full on _murder_ of my privacy, the destruction of my kitchen every time you cook your weird alien shit!”

 

“But you consume the delicious treats every time that I-” Jinx silenced her with the glaring of death.

 

“The inability to go to sleep at a decent hour because you’re either: A) Watching cartoons at some ungodly volume, B) Crying over your vision which makes ME cry over my vision, something I very much don’t need, or C) Sneaking into my bed and doing your damnedest to cuddle me to death with that freakish strength of yours!”

 

Starfire pressed her fingertips together, eyes averted.

 

“I understand now that it is difficult to live in such closeness with another. I am most grateful that-”

 

Jinx ignored her completely and carried on.

 

“It pisses me off that your periods are so light and easy. You both talk, and punch, in your sleep! When you masturbate it feels like a freaking earthquake is shaking the building. Now, I appreciate a sexy alien frigging herself into oblivion as much as the next girl,” Starfire felt her body reacting with shyness and joy. Such compliments from her pink-haired friend were rare and often not said on purpose, but they always filled her hearts with joy. “but given that you scared off the last two girls that I tried to bring home for some damned necessary -because of all the reasons listed above- good old fashioned, no strings attached sexual gratification, I’m dying here!”

 

“You do not need those stands of one night! It is a most joyous of bonding rituals on Tamaran to share one’s self-loving with the closest of friends. ”

 

“This isn’t fucking Tamaran!” Jinx hissed, hands curling into claws. “And we’re not the closest of friends! You’re literally an obstacle to my happiness!”

 

“You do not mean your words.” Starfire said indignantly, huffing and turning away from her friend. The toilet flushed, something Starfire counted as a victory in her plan to accompany Jinx to the room of bathing. “You say all of these hurtful things but there is no righteous anger in them.”

 

Jinx muttered darkly as she went about washing her hands and then roughly shoved the door, and Starfire with it, aside as she exited.

 

“There’s _some_ righteous anger in them!” she growled, looking at Starfire with an exhausted glare. Eventually, though, the look softened into something else. “Look, all I’m asking for is a little space, a little compromise on a few details of our living arrangement. Not much, just the most simple of things would be lovely,” Jinx gestured up and down at Starfire.

 

“What do you mean?” Starfire asked, tilting her head curiously.

 

“Could you please just put some damn clothes on for once?! I’m frustrated enough without you waving those things in my face!”

 

Starfire followed Jinx’s gaze down to her exposed breasts and grinned mischievously before arching her back in a manner she knew would be pleasing for any being to witness. Jinx let out a long, tired sounding sigh.

 

“I will return to wearing clothing if you agree to let me give you the cuddles of friendship at night without kicking me onto the floor. That is a compromise, yes?”

 

“That’s extortion!” Jinx shouted, eventually pulling her eyes up to Starfire’s. The alien girl gave her the most radiant and innocent smile she could summon and Jinx’s shoulders slumped. “I give up...”

 

She didn’t even try to fight as Starfire bounded forward with a giggle to wrap her up in a flying tackle-hug.

 

 

**-**

**-Raven-**

 

_The nightmares came so suddenly. I’d gotten so distracted, no, enraptured by the growing bond that when it suddenly unraveled to the barest thread my empathic link greedily drank in all of the pain and turmoil. My magic seized upon the sudden influx of emotional energy and created visions of all of my deepest, darkest fears to torment me in my sleep. For the first time since truly embracing my freedom I felt my control slipping. I was terrified._

 

_I spent the entire day and night at my window, looking in the direction of Jinx’s apartment. It would be a continuous struggle to resist the urge to go to them, to take them in my arms and tell them how sorry I was for bringing this misery to their lives. In the end I resisted, holding onto the trust I felt for the women I loved. I couldn’t tell you what was said, or even who said it, but it nearly destroyed everything we had all suffered for..._

 

 

**-**

**-Jinx-**

 

 

When I came to I was sitting naked in the middle of my living room, arms wrapped around my legs, rocking back and forth. Fragments, small flashes assaulted my mind. My fist crashing against Starfire’s horror-stricken face reflected in the bathroom mirror. I looked down at the hand and found it poorly wrapped in one of her flimsy tank-tops. I flexed it. It was stiff and sore, but it didn’t seem like anything was broken.

 

A bolt of panic suddenly shot through me and I swept my eyes across the room. The place was a little trashed, but nothing beyond the usual aftermath of one of our rowdy Girl's Nights.

 

“Starfire?” I called, my voice cracking horribly.

 

I brought up my, thankfully uninjured, other hand and rubbed at my sore throat. I must have done a lot of screaming and a lot of crying to wear out a throat long abused by shouting over a bunch of delightfully unruly lesbians at the club.

 

“Starfire, are you here?” I tried again.

 

Silence.

 

Fear overwhelmed concern. I rose, shakily, having to pause as I hit a wall of stiffness in my lower back. Another flash of memory; Starfire standing over me in the same position with a mixture of bitterness and pity clouding her normally smiling face. I cry out at the misery that look summons and force myself to rise fully. I hurriedly stumbled through the apartment to search for her. Finding nothing, I tore open the doors of my closet, catching sight of a terrified, one-horned madwoman in the full length mirror. For a moment I don’t even recognize myself, then another flash: Starfire on top of me, wrestling with my wounded hand as it clawed at the bands holding my hair in place.

 

“What did you do?” I whisper to my reflection, then shouting, “How did you fuck up this time?!” tears began to fall.

 

The anger faded to sadness. I took a quivering breath before pulling free the remaining bands to let all of my hair fall down my back. Stifling a sob I throw on an overcoat, not wanting to waste the time trying to find suitable clothes. One last look at myself, I wipe petulantly at the falling tears for a moment before giving up and deciding it would have to do. Another flash hits me as I reach for the door: Starfire, tying the fabric around my hand before turning and running out the door as I reached for her.

 

I looked at the clock, trying to think of where she could have gone. An urgent and maddening desire to sprint out the door after her gnawed at me but I shook my head, knowing that I would never find her like this. Slowly I shifted my aching body into a starting stance. The motions were difficult at first, but I moved through the kata and felt both my muscles and my chakras beginning to unwind. I reached out and grasped that waning tendril of my fortune-charged magic, every fiber of my being begging it to help me find her.

 

My stomach growled.

 

“Of course,” I murmured, a small smile spreading across cracked lips.

 

I threw open the door and sprinted out into the dawn. I knew exactly where she would be.

 

**\--**

 

My muscles burned as I passed the vendor cart just before the pier. Three mornings a week I would buy Starfire two corndogs and a soft pretzel for myself as we walked along the waterfront that looked out onto Titans Tower. I thanked the magic and the universe, and whatever Goddess had chosen to smile on me. She was there, on the longest dock, face buried in her hands.

 

“Starfire!” I gasped, lungs heaving from the run.

 

My legs, clearly spoiled by Starfire’s insistence on flying us to any faraway destination, chose the moment she turned to give out. I started to curse myself for being so lazy, then I thought of the cool night air rushing past my face as she carried me princess style through the sky, cradling me to her warm, powerful body. I smiled in spite of myself, knowing I couldn’t regret those moments.

 

“Jinx,” she mouthed, shaking her head slightly.

 

She stared at me for a while before attempting to speak again, but no words came. My chest began to ache in a way that had nothing to do with my exhaustion. I wanted to say something, but the attempt ended in a choking gasp as my mind pieced together a silent story from the shards of my memory.

 

“I’m sorry!” I wailed. “I don’t remember what I said or did to make you leave, but I’m so sorry! I’ve torn apart every good thing I've ever known. Please, don’t let me ruin this too!”

 

I could feel my hands clutching at my overcoat, wincing as the injured hand tried to ball up the fabric. When I looked at Starfire again, the look of absolute horror and misery one her beautiful face cut me to the core.

 

She covered her mouth with a hand, the other trembling as it slowly reached for me. She managed two steps before collapsing and burying her face in her hands. I crawled to her and reached out shakily to put my hand on her shoulder.

 

“Please, I can make this right. Just don’t leave! I know, I probably don’t deserve it, but give this another chance! I can’t... I couldn’t...”

 

She brushed the hand away, giving me a soul-rending look at the pain and shame resting inside her uncovered emerald eye.

 

“It was not you,” she whispered.

 

“What?”

 

She lowered the other hand to look at me fully, eyes dim and lips trembling.

 

“You did nothing wrong, my Jinx,” she whispered, reaching out to gently cradle my injured hand and bring it up to press her lips against it. “I am the monster that put poison into something so beautiful,”

 

“What? No, it had to be me. You’re too... you would never...”

 

Another flash of memory, Starfire’s face in the mirror dripping with malice as she whispered something I couldn’t quite hear. The pain that consumed my own reflection was awful to witness. I watched, horrified, as something broke deep inside of me. I couldn’t bear to see the hurt she had caused me anymore and used the hand that she had held so many times to take it away. I returned to the present, seeing my fist against Starfire’s face so eerily positioned like the memory that I pulled my hand back, fearing I was about to hit her.

 

“Yes, you remember now,” she murmured, gazing longingly at the hand clutched to my chest. “It is I that do not deserve a chance of seconds, my Jinx. I do not deserve anything. Not our Raven. Not you,” she whispered, rising to her feet and starting to turn away.

 

The pain in my chest was too much. I lurched forward and wrapped my arms around her waist.

 

“No! I-I don’t care what happened! When Raven left me it tore a hole in my heart, but there was already one there!” I didn't know where the words were coming from, but I couldn’t stop them. “You knew, though. You came to me and you filled it in little by little with your wonderful, stupidly loving self! If you left me, my heart would shatter! I could never show such a broken, miserable thing to Raven!”

 

More words tried to come, but I couldn’t give them voice. Slowly, tentatively, her arms slid under mine and she lifted me up to look me in the eyes.

 

“I hurt you so badly, my Jinx. Even if you were to give me forgiveness, I cannot give it to myself. I am not worthy of being a Princess of Tamaran. To harm one she loves with all that her hearts can give is the worst-”

 

“It’s the visions, Starfire!” I wheeze through the pain. “They have us so twisted up inside that we’re always on the edge of snapping.”

 

“But the words I said to you...”

 

She tried to turn her face away, but I stopped it with a gentle touch of my good hand.

 

“I forgive you,” I whispered, pouring my heart into the words.

 

There was a tiny spark of hope in her eyes. The pressure in my chest was replaced by a reassuring warmth as her arms wrapped tight around me, her head resting against my shoulder.

 

“You are too good to me, my Jinx.”

 

I reached up to caress her hair and smiled.

 

“Damn right, I am. Now pick me up and take us home. It’d be a blow to my badass image if people saw me blubbering over some chick on a pier.”

 

I could feel her smile on my shoulder as we slowly lifted into the air and began moving in the direction of our apartment.

 

“Thank you, my Jinx. I feared today was the end, but after your sweet words it feels very much like a beginning. Together we will overcome these visions and we will go to her. It will be glor-”

 

“I love you, Starfire.”

 

The words I had tried so many times to say in the last few weeks came so easily in that one moment. I could feel us accelerating in our flight. I smiled and wrapped my arms around her neck, lips pressed against hers, completely content in the knowledge that Starfire’s flight was powered by her unbridled joy.

 

**-**

**-Raven-**

 

 

“They’re coming!” I shouted, scaring the hell out of everyone in the living room.

 

“Sheesh!” Beast Boy shouted, clutching at his ears. “Don’t just float there silently for hours and then bust out the fireworks! I’ve got sensitive hearing, ya know?!”

 

He may as well have been speaking an alien language for all the attention I paid. They were coming back to me. The sheer, uncontainable joy that filled me with could have sent Starfire to the moon and back.

 

“Are you sure?” Robin asked. The question was so ridiculous that it actually managed to catch my attention. “I’ve been focusing every spare bit of concentration towards them for seven months. Yeah, I’m at least 60% sure it’s them,” I said, with a little eye-roll for emphasis.

 

“Booya, girl!” Cyborg said, raising his hand for a no-look high-five which I issued happily.

 

His lessons in the ways of “general wiseassery”, as he called it, were finally bearing fruit. Starfire and Jinx were working so hard to improve the future. I wouldn’t be able to face them if I didn’t try to better myself in return. Robin sighed, knowing he was truly outnumbered in the house now.

 

“I’m guessing you’d like us all to leave?” he eventually offered.

 

Despite him being the subject for most of my lessons with Cyborg, things had really improved between the two of us. All of us, in fact. My less doom-and-gloomy nature had gone a long way.

 

“I told myself I wasn’t going to be that selfish. I know all of you missed her, too, but... yeah, you’ve all got like two minutes to get the hell out,” I said, the last bit with an intentionally eerie smile.

 

“Gimme like five, I’m almost done with this-”

 

A tendril of darkness shot across the floor to hit the power button on the Game Sphere 3000.

 

“Aww, a power outage! What terrible luck!”

 

Beastboy sat, staring at the screen, controller still poised in his hands for a good ten seconds before dropping it to the floor. He glared at me for a moment, then stomped off towards the entrance, muttering under his breath about lesbians and their magic jerk powers. The fake smile was quickly replaced with a real one as he gave me a thumbs up over his shoulder.

 

Cyborg stood and pulled me into a hug, whispering something about not breaking too much of the tower before joining Beast Boy. Robin kept it to a simple nod before taking his leave.

 

“I love you guys,” I said, the words coming out only slightly awkward and clunky.

 

They started to turn back around, but were met with a wave of darkness carrying them out the door and slamming it shut behind them. I smiled again, my heart absolutely fluttering at the approaching presence. I made my way up to the roof to wait for them.

 

Technically, what I said to Robin wasn’t a lie. I was focused on them the entire time they were gone, but with restraint. With my new-found control of my powers, I probably could have laid bare the entirety of their emotional states, but doing so would have been a sign of mistrust and a massive invasion of their privacy. Still, some of the pulses of emotional highs they had been sending out were... confusing, sometimes terrifying. I couldn’t for the life of me guess at all the ups and downs they had experienced. I couldn’t wait to hear all about them.

 

**\--**

 

When they came into view, the staggering strength and depth of the bond they had formed fell on me like a hammer blow. Until that moment, every fiber of my being had been calling for me to fly up and embrace them and never ever let go. I was unable to move as they gently touched down in front of me. The simple grace and ease with which they held each other was beautiful to witness. When they came apart, I actually felt myself lamenting the loss of the contact between them. It was like the earth and the sky had been separated from one another other.

 

“Is this what my magic was trying to tell us?” I asked, approaching on trembling legs. “Warning us that I was standing in the way of something so beautiful?”

 

They looked at each other and smiled, bathing me in the warm glow of shared emotion.

 

“I told you she would say something like that,” Jinx said with a laugh.

 

“Yes, and I will make you whatever Tamaranean treats you desire for a month.”

 

“Yus,” Jinx said with a little fist pump.

 

I stared at them, speechless.

 

“Oh, this new side of Raven is so lovely, is it not, my Jinx?”

 

Jinx nodded, sending those pink horns of hers swaying.

 

“Worth every second of putting up with your crazy ass!”

 

They started to laugh. It was so warm and encompassing that I felt myself starting to join in. Then, Jinx’s lips were pressed against mine and the world stopped turning. I closed my eyes, sending tears of relief down my cheeks. When I opened them again Starfire was there, her tears mirroring mine. She pulled away and pressed her lips to Jinx’s and I was struck again by the beauty of them together. Everything faded as we embraced, kissed, laughed, and loved each other so completely.

 

As the three of us truly came together on the rooftop, I could feel a weight lifting from my heart. No more cage. No more uncertainty. No more fear of what the future might hold for us.

 

This was our Awakening...

 

_~fin~_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When planning out the end of the story I wasn't sure if I was going to include an Epilogue... but my fingers had their own ideas about that. I fell in love with it immediately and couldn't imagine not including it so bear with me for just a little longer while it's edited and we can finally lay this story to rest together. 


	8. Epilogue

**Awakening**  
Epilogue: Looking Forward

 

_**~** _  
_**Glorious days to come...** _  
_**~** _

 

**-Terra-**

 

Terra’s grin widened four times as the door to the girls' shared room slid open. First revealed to her was Raven in her radiant white cloak; hovering over the sofa with a look of utter contentment on her face. Below, Starfire was using a lock of her long, fiery hair to tickle at Jinx’s nose whenever the half-dozing woman let her guard down. Jinx had her head resting in Starfire’s lap, gazing up at the hovering Raven with dreamy, half-lidded eyes. Then Terra spied Jinx’s swollen belly; the little one-to-be.

 

“Good morning, ladies!” she happily called, strutting over to the sofa to place a kiss on Jinx’s belly. “Especially you, ya little cutie! C’mon, give your favorite auntie a little kick!”

 

Jinx swatted at her.

 

“Don’t encourage her! She’s been tap dancing on my bladder all day! And it’s half-passed noon, you damn slacker!”

 

Starfire used the distraction to sneak in for some more tickles. Jinx was only able to fight halfheartedly against them. Satisfied with her teasing, Starfire raised those gorgeous emerald orbs and gave me a radiant smile.

 

“Hello, friend Terra! You appear to be in a mighty mood of goodness today.”

 

“Maybe,” she said, patting a pocket and feigning nonchalance.

 

Raven chose that moment to let out the luxuriously silky laugh she’d developed over the last five years. Now, Terra was a spoken for woman and she’d fight to the death anyone that tried to interject themselves between the three of them... but hot damn that laugh could send tingles to places.

 

“Oh she’s practically bursting at the seams to tell us all about it, whatever it is.” Raven said.

 

“Hey, no emotion peeking!” she said with a laugh.

 

She was about to say more when Jinx lifted a hand, one finger extended, and gave it a lazy little twirl and flick. From the finger appeared a fine glowing golden thread, following through the twirl in a spiral before flowing into a canister mounted into the wall. The golden energy joined with the swirling mass of it already inside, pulsed twice, and then settled.

 

“More than enough good fortune saved up already,” the pink-haired woman said dreamily, bringing the extended hand over to caress Starfire’s cheek. “But a little extra won’t hurt anything now will it, Firebug?”

 

Starfire’s golden skin colored a little at the casual drop of her pet name. Terra shook her head.

 

“Still think y’all are crazy to get a second one before you even see what kinda mischief this one is gonna make. Plus, ya know, if you think our little Jinxie can mood swing, imagine the damage a hangry preggo Starfire could do!”

 

Starfire blushed even deeper, huffing indignantly.

 

“I will be a perfectly pleasant lady creature when I am carrying Raven’s child!” she announced, then reached over to caress her fingers along Jinx’s belly. “And our beautiful little Joy will be the perfectness of the picture with sweetness and loves for all!”

 

Raven’s eyes opened to gaze down at Starfire, one hand extending to run her fingers through the alien woman's hair. She turned her eyes to Terra and lowered herself gently down to the floor. That cool, piercing gaze regarding her for a long while. Terra couldn’t help the butterflies that started fluttering in her stomach.

 

“Alright, I’ll talk!” she said with a laugh, hand slipping into her pocket. “Well, it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. And the more I thought about it, the more I couldn’t imagine myself not doing it. These last five years have been amazing, and I owe so much of that to you three. If not for you girls, I wouldn’t have met the love of my life,” her voice began cracking a little as she pulled the little ring box out of her pocket and opened it for them to see. “I’m gonna ask Julia to marry me!”

 

“Oh! Oh!” Jinx shouted, reaching out like a toddler wanting to be picked up until a giggling Starfire reached down to ease her into a sitting position. “Oh my Goddess, she’s going to love it!” Jinx squealed, bouncing up and down in her seat.

 

“Yeah?” Terra asked. Her life had changed in a million ways for the better after Jinx had set her up with Julia and she highly valued the woman’s input. “I didn’t really know what I was doing so I just kinda went with my gut.”

 

“Oh yeah, and she’ll love it even more if you tell her that. You know how squishy she is about the lovey dovey stuff.”

 

Terra grinned and nodded. Jinx’s face suddenly changed from glowing giddiness to casting a panic stricken look at Starfire.

 

“I gotta pee!” she cried. Starfire snapped to attention and smoothly lifted Jinx into a perfect princess carry, flying her the short distance to the bathroom. “Don’t you dare leave, Blondie! I’m not done with you yet!” she called over Starfire’s shoulder.

 

Raven watched them go, glowing with love and adoration before turning that piercing gaze back onto Terra. She quirked an eyebrow.

 

“So, any ideas about the Maid of Honor? Jules will snatch up Jinx, no doubt, but what about you?”

 

Terra gave her a wicked grin.

 

“Oh yeah, but neither of you need to worry because both positions have already been filled.”

 

“You wound me!” Raven gasped, clutching her chest in mock pain, dramatically feigning insult in a way that was so unlike her in the past.

 

Terra rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help the heart warming feel that came with it. Raven had changed so much over the years, all for the better.

 

“Actually, I wanted to ask if you’d be the one to marry us. I mean, you’re like a sort of priestess already and the pictures would be super badass with you up there in your spiffy white robes. I’m sure Starfire wouldn’t mind joining Julia’s side with Jinx.”

 

Tears welled in Raven's eyes.

 

“I’d be honored, Terra,” she said, smiling softly. “but then, who did you have in mind?”

 

“Well, Remember a few months ago when Cyborg and BB challenged me to an all-night gameathon?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“And remember how we kept ramping up the bets before I totally kicked their asses?”

 

“Nah, I left early to go have sex with two beautiful women instead because I’m not a total nerd.”

 

Terra full on laughed this time and swatted at Raven good-naturedly.

 

“Well, let’s just say the two of them are going to have some lovely little dresses waiting for them on the big day.

 

Raven’s smile was positively radiant.

 

“Now that will be glorious!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so we arrive at the closing of another chapter in my life. I've always known how it was going to end but it took a few turns even I wasn't expecting for them to get there. I know a lot of people were hoping for and expecting Raven x Starfire and Jinx x Julia but the idea of the three of them coming together was just too beautiful to me. Please, _please_ tell me what you think of this one. What was your favorite part? What would you have done differently? Who was your favorite character? I'd love to hear from you and your input, as always, is invaluable to me. Thank you so much for joining me on this journey!

**Author's Note:**

> All comments and constructive criticism will be welcomed and treasured. It always warms my heart to hear how my writing affects those who read it. If you didn't like something or think I could improve my writing in some way then let me know. I'm always happy to explain why I did what I did and learn from my mistakes. Thank you so much for reading! ^_^


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